“Letter From the Rikers Island Jail”

By “Donald J. Trump”

[As dictated to Steven F. Hayward]

[With apologies to Martin Luther King’s “Letter from the Birmingham Jail”]

Dear Losers and Haters:

While confined here in the Rikers Island Jail, I came across your recent Statement calling my past and present activities “extreme,” “reckless” and a “threat to democracy.” Always do I leap to point out what losers you all are! If I didn’t answer all of the attacks thrown my way, my secretaries and staff would have little to do, and Truth Social would go broke. But since you are all such complete haters I wouldn’t want to pass up the chance to remind everyone again. Sad!