May 1, 2006
PASS THE PRIONS:
My LA buddies and I had our annual golf trip this weekend. Instead of Scottsdale, our usual destination, the 19th annual "Dash to the Desert" became the "Dash to the Dunes" as we visited the Bandon Dunes golf resort on the Central Coast of Oregon. The Bandon Dunes and Pacific Dunes courses are magnificent...they look like they were shipped in from Ireland (Bandon) or Scotland (Pacific). The guy who designed Pacific Dunes (Tom Doak) clearly had Royal Dornoch on his mind while he was drawing it up. Not only are they both true links courses, but they are both overgrown with honest-to-goodness gorse plants (which were blooming with the yellow whins flowers). The 3rd course in the bunch is no slouch either: Bandon Trails, an inland course (although it has the same links turf as the other 2) designed by Bill Coore and Ben Crenshaw.
Anyway, we're at dinner on Saturday night, and a few of us order cheeseburgers, medium rare. The waitress tells us that it's "against the law" in Oregon to serve ground meat cooked anything below medium well. So one guy then pointed out that the State of Oregon will let you kill yourself, but won't let you eat a medium rare burger. Which raised a constitutional question that none of the 6 lawyers on the trip could answer: what if you want to commit suicide by eating an undercooked burger?
Posted by Glenn Dryfoos at May 1, 2006 2:35 PMNext time you should get a doctor to draw up a prescription for "cheeseburger, medium rare".
And I think you've found the name for them: "SuicideBurgers." Be sure to trademark it.
Yes. Only the state's authorized representatives can grant access to Suicideburgers. Otherwise, we would have too many unauthorized suicides, and where would the tax base go?
Posted by: pj at May 1, 2006 4:00 PMJust buy a piece of chuck, grind it yourself and cook it as rare as you like soon after you grind it. Not only will it will taste better than any burger you can buy but the risk factor from prions, E. coli, etc. approaches zero. As an added bonus, you can control the meat/fat percentage to your own liking ( 85% for me) and you know what's in it as well.
Posted by: Rick T. at May 1, 2006 4:32 PMSome oldtimers in the town where I grew up gound up raw steak, added egg, onions etc., and ate it raw. Called it cannibal meat. Never had the nerve to try it.
Posted by: jdkelly at May 1, 2006 5:10 PMWould this be a case of assisted suicide then, since you are asking for another party to prepare the method whereby you will do yourself in? If so, can't the restaurant claim protection under the assisted suicide law? Just a thought.
Posted by: Jay at May 1, 2006 6:26 PMFor the record, with prions, it doesn't matter how long you cook the meat, or how hot. They'll still get you, in the unlikely event that they're present.
Posted by: M. Bulger at May 1, 2006 10:46 PMjdkelly;
Sounds like kibbeh, except kibbeh is raw lamb instead of cow. I found it quite tasty, but I think the health gestapo put a stop to it. At least I can still eat my fish raw.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at May 1, 2006 10:48 PMHas to be a controlled (but otherwise legal) substance, prescribed by a physician and self-administered.
E. Coli doesn't qualify.
Posted by: ghostcat at May 1, 2006 11:06 PMghostcat:
Rats! I was hoping for a loophole. Guess were back to the doctor's orders idea.
Posted by: Jay at May 2, 2006 1:53 AM