April 11, 2006

YOU NEEDN'T TAKE THIS TEST (via Rick Turley):

Have you got the definitive derriere? (Sunday Times, 09apr06)

FEW women would claim to have the perfect bottom. But for those in need of reassurance that it is within reach, a scientist has come to the rescue by working out a mathematical formula they believe adds up to the perfect posterior.

The magical figures are (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V. Though the equation looks rather complicated, it is, according to the scientist, simple.

It assesses shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry – all factors that add up to the bottom line.

S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness.

V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

Posted by Orrin Judd at April 11, 2006 6:34 PM
Comments

I have a simpler equasion, Y-L, whereas Y= your measurment of deviation from factor L, Jennifer Lopez's [caboose].

Posted by: Amos at April 11, 2006 9:29 PM

The perfect woman is she who can put up with the bum she married!

Posted by: Randall Voth at April 12, 2006 3:04 AM

Units, we need the units that the various terms are being measured in.

Noel

Posted by: Noel at April 12, 2006 8:54 AM

There used to be a Saturday Night Live sketch (I think it was Dana Carvey impersonating George Michael) about a man obsessed with the perfection of his derriere. The only line I remember is "British scientists use my butt to calibrate their instruments!" Now I see that it is possible.

Posted by: Guy T. at April 12, 2006 9:50 AM
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