August 30, 2004


Sentient Non-Idiots For Kerry: Repubs pick a fight about Vietnam while Bush ruins America right now? Is the nation drunk? (Mark Morford, August 27, 2004, SF Chronicle)

And isn't it funny how at least 13 members of Congress have actually requested that the United Nations monitor this year's U.S. presidential election, just because, just in case, just to ensure there's no voter rolling and election rigging and chad hanging and outright shameless Florida reaming like last time?

And isn't it even more funny how, when firebrand U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown, from Florida, brought the issue up on the floor of Congress, she was actually shouted down by the Republicans, scolded that she was out of order and told her comments should be stricken from the record?

And they all screamed and stomped and huffed and puffed and said no way should there be any oversight of this year's election, even though there is indeed a gross pile of mounting evidence that there's nothing stopping BushCo from simply stealing the election all over again. Isn't that funny?

It's enough to make you laugh 'til you gag. And choke. And move to Canada.

They always make the threat but they never move, except to dodge the draft.

Let us agree for the moment though--for the sake of argument and obviously not on the basis of any evidence extant--that Mr. Kerry is not completely incompetent when it comes to politics: don't you think that if the state of affairs in America "right now" favored him he'd be talking about it instead of about leading us all up the river like he led his swift boat?

Posted by Orrin Judd at August 30, 2004 4:21 PM

"They always make the threat but they never move, except to dodge the draft."

Okay, I'm convinced, bring back the draft. Given the lack of social stigma on homosexuality, we may have to drop opposition to gays in the military and form special divisions for them. The mind boggleth...

Posted by: Random Lawyer at August 30, 2004 4:37 PM

Sometimes I wonder if it is I or it is they who drank the bottle labeled "drink me," and who talked to the Hookah smoking caterpillar?

Posted by: Robert Schwartz at August 30, 2004 4:43 PM

Democrats never lose elections; they always have them *stolen* from them. By evil, nasty (possibly hook-nosed, if you catch my meaning) RepubliSCUM operatives. The wise and noble PEOPLE would rise and and protest if they weren't so stupid and ignorant. No, I don't undestand this myself. But I'm just a dumb ol' Republican with no sense of nuance.

Posted by: Governor Breck at August 30, 2004 4:48 PM

If you've followed any of Morford's writing, you'd know that he doesn't do nuance. Provoking him to move to Canada would be another very fine reason to vote for GWB.

Posted by: Melissa at August 30, 2004 5:10 PM

You left out this delightful bit:

> Dubya was "serving" in the Air National Guard, which we all know translates to mean "hangin' down in Tijuana slamming tequila shooters and annoying the waitresses, all while praising Jesus that he had a daddy who could keep him away from scary complicated violent stuff."

You have to admit, that cushy fighter-jet-piloting sinecure is hard to explain away, especially when you set it next to the scary complicated violent stuff.

Posted by: Guy T. at August 30, 2004 5:10 PM


I'd be curious to see some numbers on which was more dangerous the year before each started doing it: flying a Guard jet or working on a Swift Boat.

Posted by: oj at August 30, 2004 5:16 PM

Yeah, me too. At the very least I think it's safe to say that the piloting job fulfills the "scary" and "complicated" requirements.

I think I'll see if I can write a short Python script to generate random Morford articles -- excuse me, I mean "hot messy slippery exploding batches of adjectives."

Posted by: Guy T. at August 30, 2004 5:31 PM

I suspect flying a Guard jet. A lot of those Late Fifties-vintage Century-series interceptors had a rep as widowmakers.

And I heard (before it went down the memhole) that JFKerry (who by the way Served In Vietnam) volunteered for Swift Boats because up until then they were used more for coastal patrol than actual combat.

(In those days, if you couldn't avoid Vietnam, you could at least try to aim your military hitch into an MOS and assignment that gave you the best chance of survival...)

Posted by: Ken at August 30, 2004 5:33 PM

MOrford, MOrelock, MOore, MOonbat, MOnbiot, MO Dowd, MOveOn.....

What's up with that?

Posted by: Andrew X at August 30, 2004 5:46 PM

Several months ago I was at a dinner with a group of lefties, and they were all convinced that Bush had never shown up for any NG service at all. I didn't want to cause a scene (I knew anything that could be construed as perhaps maybe possibly not considering Bush=HITLER! would do so), so I didn't say anything. But I suspect most of Morford's pals and loyal readers are under the same ignorant delusion, though they of course think we're the sheeple and they're the enlightened ones...

Posted by: brian at August 30, 2004 5:47 PM

Bunch of mo's.

Posted by: oj at August 30, 2004 5:50 PM

It's probably the same set of people who think Vietnam turned in to a paradise once the Americans left.

Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at August 30, 2004 5:51 PM

I actually followed through on something. Behold the majestic poetry of the Morfordizer.

Posted by: Guy T. at August 30, 2004 8:20 PM

I flew the last of the Century Series fighters. In my first year in the airplane, something like 24 were lost, including two planes and four guys in my squadron alone.

All told, I knew personally 14 who died flying them.

And, oh by the way, the F-102 was more dangerous.

Posted by: Jeff Guinn at August 30, 2004 9:27 PM


Lovely bit of programming, that. Thanks to visionaries such as yourself, the day may come when all of the editorial content of the entire Nation-Mother Jones-Guardian-American Prospect-American Conservative-Lew Rockwell axis is entirely machine-generated.

Posted by: Mike Morley at August 30, 2004 10:32 PM

If Morford follows through on his threat and other like minded people in the area follow his lead, 2005 will be a great time to get killer bargain deals on pricey Bay Area real estate.

Posted by: John at August 30, 2004 10:58 PM

Mike MOrley...

Uh oh.

Posted by: jsmith at August 30, 2004 11:28 PM