August 25, 2004


If He Only Had a Heart: John Kerry tanks on The Daily Show. (Dana Stevens, Aug. 25, 2004, Slate)

When my boyfriend and I heard that John Kerry was slated to be the guest on last night's Daily Show, we all but raced to the TiVo to set it on record. (Not that we ever miss The Daily Show anyway, but this would be one worth keeping.) What a "get" for Jon Stewart, the court jester of the 2004 election! And finally Kerry would have the chance to step down from the campaign stump and show people who are desperate for a reason to vote for him what he's really made of: his passion, his conviction, his much-vaunted (at least by his wife) sense of humor. Except, as Jon Stewart has been known to say: Eh, not so much.

From the moment the senator appeared and sat down on the gray sofa where, just last week, Bill Clinton basked in the audience's applause like a cat lapping up cream, Kerry's charisma was less than zero: It was negative. He was a charm vacuum, forced to actually borrow mojo from audience members. He was a dessicated husk, a tin man who really didn't have a heart. His lack of vibrancy, his utter dearth of sex appeal made Al Gore look like Charo.

Every time some Mexican-hating crank on the Right pens a screed for a journal read only by folks who miss Der Sturmer about how George Bush is a tool of the conniving cabal of hook-nosed neocons, people start barking about how he's in trouble with his base. Meanwhile, normal people in what we are informed is now called the MSM (or Main Stream Media) are just burying John Kerry for being a horrendous candidate, but somehow that same frenzy hasn't started yet. When it does it's hard to see how he stops the slide. Even when folks were pretending he had a shot at winning this election they had to acknowledge that no one likes him personally and that Democrats were picking him only because of his "electability." If he's not electable what does he have left? His medals are on the White House lawn and the money belongs to his wife, who doesn't seem too likely to pleased with her cabana boy if he costs her that First Lady gig. Maybe he will keep that Senate seat after all--though Paul Cellucci seems likely to win it from him in a couple years.

Posted by Orrin Judd at August 25, 2004 4:41 PM

That second paragraph has got to be the most ferocious put-down written about any politician anywhere that I have ever read . . . and I read a lot.

Posted by: Mike Morley at August 25, 2004 4:53 PM

And this is in Slate which is normally pro-Dem/anti-Bush.

Posted by: AWW at August 25, 2004 4:57 PM

You missed my favorite line: "Watching Kerry strike out was especially heartbreaking given that Stewart was pitching not just softballs but marshmallows. Puffy interview marshmallows with rainbow sprinkles on them..."

Posted by: Timothy at August 25, 2004 5:05 PM

I have the feeling that after Election Day many Democrats will have a bumper sticker that says, "Don't blame me, I'm not from Iowa."

Posted by: Chris Durnell at August 25, 2004 5:22 PM

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”

Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at August 25, 2004 5:56 PM

After the election Kerry will team up with Gore to do a "Viet Nam Heroes" world tour.

Posted by: Pilgrim at August 25, 2004 9:24 PM