May 19, 2004
METAPHOR OF THE YEAR:
The Eurovision Song Contest badly needs a makeover (Andy Sennitt, Radio Netherlands, May 19th,2004)
The Eurovision Song Contest is the flagship event of the European Broadcasting Union, the umbrella organisation of Europe's public broadcasters. Like similar broadcasting unions elsewhere, the EBU does a lot of important work which goes unnoticed unless you actually work in broadcasting. Every day, countless exchanges of material go on via the Eurovision network, but ordinary viewers are not conscious of the EBU's involvement. For most of Europe's viewers, Eurovision is a song contest that happens once a year, nothing more.Posted by Peter Burnet at May 19, 2004 4:21 PMThe Contest displays the best and the worst of European broadcasting. The best, because it's a live show of around three hours that manages to link every participating country with remarkably few technical problems. In that sense, it's a showcase for the very best that public broadcasters can offer. The problem is with the content, which is something the EBU itself has little control over. The broadcasters in the participating countries arrange their own national contests to select the song that's going to represent them. And it's those songs that are are the source of so much bitterness between different countries.
Quite simply, a lot of the songs are atrocious. More attention is paid to the visual aspects of the performances than to the artistic merits of the material. A British newspaper notes that the most votes generally go to the artists who are wearing the least clothing by the end of the performance. Certainly this year's voting appears to support that contention. One wag has suggested that they should change the name to the Eurovision Thong Contest. Now, I'm no prude. But, if the contest is about the artists and not the material they perform, the name does indeed need to be changed.
The voting system has been a big source of complaints this year from countries such as the Netherlands, which in earlier years generally did quite well but now, like the UK, seems to do poorly. There were technical problems with the computer software during the semi final, a new innovation, that was staged a three days beforehand to eliminate 12 of the contestants because so many countries (36) wanted to take part. But the main bone of contention is how, for example, the Slavic countries always vote for each other, the Scandinavians likewise, and so on. This will be the case as long as the programme uses the long-winded system of voting by country, which is supposed to be democratic but is anything but. It's time to come up with a simpler, more elegant solution.
How can someone write a whole article about the Eurovision Song Contest and not mention ABBA? That right there is the whole problem with the modern contest. Not enough ABBA.
Posted by: Guy T. at May 19, 2004 4:36 PMThis sounds like a Monty Python skit. Wasn't there a skit about a Proust reading contest, where the judges decided to give the award to the girl with the biggest t__s?
Posted by: Robert Duquette at May 19, 2004 4:45 PMRobert:
Yes, there was, but their best take-off was a contest to see who could come up with the best racial epithets. They started with the Belgians:
Third Prize-- "The phlegms"
Second Prize--"The sprouts"
First Prize---"dirty rotten Belgian bastards"
Needs more cowbell
Posted by: David R at May 19, 2004 5:52 PMThere was also a Python skit in which they parodied the Eurovision Song Contest--the winning entry was "Sgt. Duckie's Song," which went something like this: "Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong . . . ."
Posted by: Mike Morley at May 19, 2004 6:52 PMThis article could go a long way towards explaining why Elton John looks at "Anmerican Idol" and sees rampant racism in the U.S. voting public, Rueben Stoddard nonwithstnading.
Posted by: John at May 19, 2004 7:41 PMI lived in Europe for awhile.
Having seen it, I would say the Eurovision song contest is the most pathetic thing I have ever seen people do on purpose.
Jeff:
Where the heck have you been? Pagan you may be, but you have responsibilities, man!
Posted by: Peter B at May 19, 2004 9:54 PMWho gives a fart about this?
Posted by: genecis at May 19, 2004 10:17 PMAnd where's Harry? I've been getting lonely!
Posted by: Robert Duquette at May 19, 2004 10:55 PMGenecis
"who gives a f*rt about this?"
That was the German entry.
Posted by: h-man at May 20, 2004 4:10 AMThe Eurovision song contest is important to us British, as it allows us to re-assert our innate superiority over the wops, krauts, frogs etc, which is very important when they keep beating us at football.
When the whole continent is buying our pop records, the country that produced the Beatles, Stones, Elton John etc finds great amusement in patronising the competition by sending to represent it some end-of-the-pier amateurs to warble a god-awful tuneless ditty.
Last year we achieved the Holy Grail of 'nul point' - which was a cause for national celebration.
Posted by: Brit at May 20, 2004 6:16 AMBrit:
Be careful or you will score similarly in the Euro-constitution contest.
Posted by: Peter B at May 20, 2004 6:46 AMFear not, Peter, we'll never let ourselves be dictated to by a bunch of Eurocrats in Brussels...oh hang on.
All together now: "Britons never never never shall be...sprouts."
Posted by: Brit at May 20, 2004 6:53 AM...he shouts as he downs his Euro-sausage, regulation strawberries and liter of bitter.
Posted by: Peter B at May 20, 2004 6:56 AMDon't forget the 'straight banana'.
Posted by: Brit at May 20, 2004 7:19 AMBrit:
Well, we are doing much better at football since we appointed a swede.
Posted by: M Ali Choudhury at May 20, 2004 12:10 PMPeter:
Work has been a bear recently--you know how that can go.
Plus Little League has started (first year for my son).
And the vile combination of little experience and less skill is, uh, prolonging my efforts at building some furniture for my daughter.
Besides, Robert has taken up the practice of saying what I was going to, only sooner and better.
Posted by: Jeff Guinn at May 20, 2004 8:30 PMJeff, you don't get off that easy! Get in there and give 'em hell!
Posted by: Robert Duquette at May 21, 2004 1:14 AMM Ali:
True anough. And don't forget the Zimbabwean coach of the cricket team, And the German coach of the swimming team.
But at least we can still stick two proverbial fingers up to the continent at Eurovision.
Our approach is the equivalent of the US sending not their famous 'Dream Team' to play basketball at the Olympics, but instead a squad consisting of one-armed dwarfs.
Posted by: Brit at May 21, 2004 4:05 AMJeff:
How mundane. I was hoping you would confess that we had convinced you darwnism is pap and you had nothing more to say.
You're not seriously telling us your family is more important that we are, I hope. You atheists aren't supposed to think like that. That is our schtick.
Coming, dear.
Posted by: Peter B at May 21, 2004 7:19 PM