May 15, 2007


Of All the Losers at RFK Stadium, One Is a (Giant) Head Above the Rest (Marc Fisher, May 13, 2007, Washington Post)

T.R. has been reincarnated at RFK as a jolly, woolly, plump fellow who is eager to please, 10 feet tall and thoroughly, unbelievably, impossibly incapable of winning.

During the fourth inning of each home game, Teddy and three other presidents -- Jefferson, Lincoln and Washington -- race from the right-field corner down the first-base line to a winner's tape stretched out near home plate.

Since the races began in the middle of last summer, the Author of the Declaration of Independence has won 19 races, the Great Emancipator, 17; the Father of Our Country, nine. Teddy has won squat.

But the scorecard lies, because Teddy, despite his frustrating record, is the star of nearly every race. Teddy is King Charlie Brown in a city packed to the rafters with little Charlie Browns. Teddy gets off to astonishing starts -- then stops to dance to the irresistible tune of "Singin' in the Rain," or loses interest and leaves the race to chat with fans, make nice to the ball girl or chase the Easter Bunny.

On Opening Day this year, it looked like the fix was in: Teddy soared past the competition, entering the ballpark on a zip line, flying down from the right-field roof toward first base. Alas, Teddy flopped over on landing and was disqualified.

While Washington wins, Teddy gets lost in the stands or stops to throw Cracker Jack at the fans. When Lincoln takes the prize, Teddy comes up lame with gastric distress or runs in the wrong direction. Jefferson once claimed victory in a race in which G.W. head-butted Teddy out of the running.

In a town where losers never quite disappear, there is surely a lush K Street office awaiting T.R. should he choose to slink off in shame. But like Newt Gingrich, Bill Clinton and so many others before him, Teddy never drops his facade of bully cheer.

Posted by Orrin Judd at May 15, 2007 6:45 AM

Take away his moustache, and he looks like the Family Guy.

Posted by: ratbert at May 15, 2007 7:31 AM

Back when the Presidents Race was done by computerized animation, TR was a frequent winner. Part of the problem is he represents the Suites and Boxes--ie, the sort of folk no one wants to see win.

Posted by: AC at May 15, 2007 10:24 AM

Of All the Losers at RFK Stadium, One Is a (Giant) Head Above the Rest (Marc Fisher, May 13, 2007, Washington Post)

I thought this was an odd headline when I saw it earlier, as Barry Bonds starts a series in Houston tonight, not DC.

But then I saw what the story was about. :)

Posted by: Kevin Whited at May 15, 2007 11:00 AM