CALM DOWN MR. DICKENS, IT WAS JUST AS BAD IN THE 14TH CENTURY

Young, gifted and ours, thank God (Janice Turner, The Times, November 4th, 2006)

Underlying the Institute of Public Policy (IPP) report on the pure rubbishness of our youth was the all- pervasive British self-hate that our culture, our family life, even our climate (which mostly discourages inter-generational mixing in public spaces) is inherently and catastrophically inferior. Hell-in-a-handcart pessimism has long dominated the Daily Mail Right. But the terrible-teen conclusions of the IPP — a “progressive” think-tank — comes two months after the liberal childcare experts insisted that we are toxifying our younger children into chronic depression.

But in neither case are we given a proper historical perspective, hard evidence that our offspring truly are worse than we were. Because without it, all you are left with is the timeless grey-head-shaking lament: “The youth of today . . .”

Should we really wring our hands that only 66 per cent of British teens eat with their families compared with 93 per cent of Italians? Wasn’t it ever thus? In common with my friends, I had tea at 4pm on a Hostess trolley in front of Blue Peter my whole childhood long, my father eating later after work. Britain is not, and has never been, a fuss-pot foodie culture: we refuel and get on with our daily lives, rather than sit around for hours comparing cannoli recipes. And much as I enjoy our family meals (three a week at most) a grand daily repast would be a burden and an ordeal.

And like it or not, we prefer alcohol to food, drunken hilarity to dainty tapas-nibbling. Stupid, youthful, public debauchery has been the British release valve of every social class for generations: from this year’s bridge-jumping Oxford May-ballers way back to my Doncaster peers throwing up snakebite behind the youth club disco. Binge-drinking does not signify a decline in British culture. It is our culture, a national rite of passage. Cautioning restraint and crossing our fingers is all we can do through our children’s danger years.

Then there is the report’s supposedly shocking finding that about half of British boys spend four evenings a week with friends rather than family, compared with 17 per cent of French boys. Isn’t hanging with your mates the whole point of being young? The Toxic Childhood brigade berate us for keeping kids indoors, becoming obese in front of video games. Now we are damned for allowing them out.

Besides, socialising with your children post-8pm is OK for the duration of a Spanish holiday. But are we really supposed to entertain them every night? Having children who are still pre-teens, I am dreading the loss of those few precious wine-drinking adult hours after bedtime to what the report calls “structured interaction”.

You have to hand it to the Brits. Nobody does decline as well as they do. What other country would respond to a crisis in public drinking by opening the pubs 24/7? Who else would celebrate the social dislocation resulting from destruction of an incredibly rich and beautiful religious heritage by lapping up a bestseller on the evils of religion? And who else could turn mob violence at sporting events into a rigorous academic discipline dedicated to finding out exactly why we’re all to blame?

The spirit of American ingenuity lies in refusing to believe there is any problem that can’t be solved. The British counterpart seems to hold there is no problem they can’t define right out of existence.

Posted by Peter Burnet at November 5, 2006 7:09 AM