October 24, 2006

WHICH IS STRANGE BECAUSE IT ALSO TURNS THEM INTO GIANT [RHYMES WITH TRIX]:

Cell phones may hurt sperm (TENILLE BONOGUORE, 10/24/06, Globe and Mail)

Men who spend hours on their cell phones have lower sperm counts than usual, according to new research that suggests radiation or heat from the phones could be to blame.

I was at college for Summer term when the report came out in 1981 that underwear briefs were associated with testicular cancer, or some such, and pretty nearly every guy on campus bought boxers that day.

Posted by Orrin Judd at October 24, 2006 9:03 AM
Comments

More utter nonsense from the idiots at the study mill.

Men who spend hours on their cell phone are also more likely to be more sedentary (or have other factors leading to lower sperm counts).

Even when the bozos say the "corrected for other factors) they're wrong. You can't correct for every one of these factors.

More drivel, just like the report on briefs.

Posted by: Bruno at October 24, 2006 9:30 AM

The correlation between pockets of heat and physical effects seems too strong to discount.

Posted by: oj at October 24, 2006 9:40 AM

I'm still skeptical, but if carrying a radio transmitter close to your body all the time effects your health in some way, I would not be surprised.

Posted by: Ed Bush at October 24, 2006 9:46 AM

Is this report from the same people who claimed that cell phones caused brain cancer? I guess you could get both that and these results if you had a cranial-rectal impaction, which seems to be the normal condition for the people create such reports.

(The power from these "radio transmitters" are measured in milliwatts. You get more "radiation" from a flashlight.)

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at October 24, 2006 11:13 AM

I think this might be one of those instances where correlation is mistaken for causation.

I'd reason that:

(a) talking on the phone is a feminine activity (at least as a social activity rather than a business necessity.)

(b) any man who talks on the phone that much is doing it socially.

(c) Therefore such men are more feminine, and hence have lower sperm counts.

QED.

Posted by: Jim in Chicago at October 24, 2006 11:27 AM

It's not radiation, just heat.

Posted by: oj at October 24, 2006 11:30 AM

Jim:

Brilliant.

Posted by: oj at October 24, 2006 11:31 AM
It's not radiation, just heat.
So these guys are holding the phones in their crotches as they talk? Because otherwise, none of the heat is going to end up where it could effect sperm counts.

As soon as I read the article, I had the exact same thought as Jim, so obviously he's correct.

Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at October 24, 2006 11:38 AM

Talking on them causes the brain cancer, pocketing them kills the swimmers.

Posted by: oj at October 24, 2006 11:57 AM

Brilliantly funny. Thanks again guys.

Bruno, Ed, Jim, Raoul, AOG & oj in full agreement. Halleluiah a new day's a coming?

Posted by: erp at October 24, 2006 1:47 PM

Now we just need a study that says that women and girls who spend hours on cell phones have smaller breasts.

Posted by: JimBobElrod at October 24, 2006 6:55 PM

Hmmm... don't computer monitors give off heat?

Posted by: Just John at October 24, 2006 6:57 PM

Laptops do--that's likely a contributing factor.

Posted by: oj at October 24, 2006 7:32 PM

That's not funny! They actually did that study... the results of which had every guy in the Computer Science dept at my university putting the ol' Lappy up on a desk.

Posted by: Jay at October 25, 2006 12:24 PM

Who's joking?

Posted by: oj at October 25, 2006 12:37 PM
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