June 16, 2006
QUIT YER WHININ':
The Freaks of Father's Day (Jeremy Adam Smith, June 16, 2006, AlterNet)
The day started ordinarily enough. I came home from my office at noon. My wife Shelly went to work. I took our toddler Liko to a cafe for lunch and then we strollered to the playground.From noon until 7 most weekdays, I'm a Mr. Mom -- a term that bothers some stay-at-home dads as a knock on their masculinity. Personally, it doesn't bother me. The reader will not be surprised to hear that I'm usually the only dad I see at Liko's swim and music classes. I don't mind that, either. After a hard period of adjustment, I came to accept the relative isolation that goes along with my role. [...]
The 2004 census says that there are 143,000 stay-at-home-dads caring for 245,000 kids under 15. That's about 1.7 percent of all U.S. parents who are taking care of children, a pretty marginal group, but it's also double the number who stayed home in 1995, which suggests a trend. And the Bureau of Labor Statistics says that about 2 million dads work part-time for "non-economic reasons" that include child care, a category into which I fit.
So what? Those numbers are small, and it's still mostly women taking care of children, often pulling double shifts as workers and mommies. If there is a trend toward more paternal involvement in child rearing -- and there is, no question, and that's a good thing -- we should still keep it in perspective.
On Father's Day, we stay-at-home dads are the freaks.
Hard to believe he feels out of place with the women. Posted by Orrin Judd at June 16, 2006 2:34 PM
Now there's a situation where being a sociopath basement hiding loner is a win – you always feel isolated and out of place, so there's no marginal cost to being the only dad at a kid's event.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at June 16, 2006 2:45 PMWhat kind of loser stays at the event? They're invitations to drive-by.
Posted by: oj at June 16, 2006 2:48 PMTake a book, sit in the car, no one bothers you.
Posted by: David Cohen at June 16, 2006 3:57 PMGrow a beard, add fifty pounds, they'll all be afraid of you.
Posted by: oj at June 16, 2006 4:04 PM"Drive-by"? What are you, a libertarian train hating car freak? And shouldn't you stay in order to converse with your fellow citizens and build the social fabric? After all, you obviously aren't doing it on mass transit because you're driving.
P.S. Mass transit riders stay at the event because they can't get home and back in the 60-90 minutes the event takes.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at June 16, 2006 4:42 PMThey're women.
Posted by: oj at June 16, 2006 4:47 PM"After a hard period of adjustment, I came to accept the relative isolation that goes along with my role."
It's hard to believe this dude was capable of procreating. I'm thinking a turkey baster was involved. When I take my kids to the park during the day I radiate a vibe of "please don't talk to me."
Has always worked for me in keeping the moms away. And hey I haven't even needed to grow a beard, tho I've found a pair of shades, a scowl, and a book or magazine come in handy.
Tho most of the women with the kids are Polish or Mexican nannies and don't speak English anyway. (No doubt illegals, at least until Tom Tancredo and the boys at the Corner seal the southern border with superglue or something).
Posted by: Jim in Chicago at June 16, 2006 5:25 PMSome of my best friends are women.
Posted by: ghostcat at June 16, 2006 6:13 PMAs a man sitting outside an elementary school waiting for school to be over, I always suspect that the Moms are giving me the eye trying to figure out if they should call the police.
Posted by: David Cohen at June 16, 2006 9:50 PM