May 18, 2006

FIRE GOOD:

Trial by fire: How I learned to stop worrying and love backyard grill (Amy McConnell Schaarsmith, May 18, 2006, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

As the masculine-feminine thing goes, I'm kind of a chick. I mist up over sappy TV commercials, covet sparkly shoes and invest more than my share of disposable income in lipsticks and earrings.

And until last month, I confess I had never operated a grill. Farm life and a well-armed father taught me how to drive a tractor and shoot a shotgun, but cooking over a fire was something I left to the menfolk.

In truth, I was afraid of the grill. I had visions of turning the wrong knob or pressing the wrong button on our gas grill and sparking a fireball that would engulf our home in catastrophic flames.

I tend to worry about such things.


Whereas, for a guy that'd just be a bonus....

Posted by Orrin Judd at May 18, 2006 10:08 AM
Comments

I'm getting married at the end of the summer, and one of the things that really drove home the fact that I was leaving home was the realization that I would need to learn how to replicate my father's success on the outdoor grill if I wanted to continue to enjoy tasty steaks, chicken, and burgers. As a major fire afficionado, I have thrown myself whole-heartedly into my studies, with great success. The flame shall continue to burn in my new home (well, nearby at least - inside might cause problems).

Posted by: Jay at May 18, 2006 10:58 AM

Jay:

Best wishes, but I have news for you. You're going to have to replicate your father's success on the grill and also your mother's in scrubbing the bathrooms.

Posted by: Peter B at May 18, 2006 11:09 AM

What is it with chicks not cleaning the dang bathroom anymore? We do that seat down thing for them....

Posted by: oj at May 18, 2006 11:16 AM

Naw, Mom's used the Three Sons Cleaning Service for years; we're well trained on all matters of household cleaning, washing, and the like. I'm the roommate at college that actually cleaned the bathroom. Thanks for the warning, though.

Posted by: Jay at May 18, 2006 11:16 AM

I enjoyed teasing my wife by allowing the gas to accumulate before I click the peizo-electric ignitor.

The first five times she got mad, now she just stands back and enjoys the fireworks. They are much harder to train than we are, but if one persists, it is possible...and I haven't scrubbed a bathroom yet.

Posted by: Bruno at May 18, 2006 11:17 AM

Make cleaning dangerous and you won't find it onerous either. That's why I vacuum with a Roomba, dust with liquid nitrogen, and wash my wine glasses with methlyene chloride.

If you're married, passive-aggresive feigned incompentence is lame, but do this once and you won't be asked for an encore. It will still be fun to clean your workshop/barn/garage.

Posted by: Mike Beversluis at May 18, 2006 11:41 AM

Let it just be said that anyone who uses a gas grill is either a Red Sawx fan or a sissy, but I repeat myself.

Posted by: Jim in Chicago at May 18, 2006 12:45 PM

Jim's right. Gas is for girls.

It's something your Momma cooks with in the kitchen. 'Nuff said.

Real men cook with charcoal or wood, preferrably from trees they've felled with their own chainsaws.

There's nothing more satisfying than taking a hickory tree and a hog and turning them into barbeque.

Posted by: H.D. Miller at May 18, 2006 2:20 PM

H.D.

If you actually wander around the house talking like that, no wonder you need a poutin' house.

Posted by: Peter B at May 18, 2006 2:48 PM

The culinary holy trinity:

Fire
Sharp Knives
Alcohol

Posted by: Rick T. at May 18, 2006 5:51 PM
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