Why don't you hate Segways? They're individually owned and operated forms of transportation. One would think that you would hate them as much as you hate any other individual assertion of freedom, much the same way you hate cars, boats and unicycles.
Furthermore, when am I going to get to see you tooling around downtown Hanover on your own Segway? I want have a fresh pair of shorts at the ready for when I soil myself laughing.

they're human: (officers look more approachable on Segs)

Me, I hate seqways because they're the most intensely dorkifying invention of recent times.

Dorky is human. Ever watch someone walk?

So now you're all about using machines to artificially heighten our own natural dorkiness? What's next, mandatory Star Trek uniforms for everybody? I ask again: when are you getting a Segway?

When they're $1500, instead of $3k.

I'll make sure I have my camera ready.

If you can sneak it out of the girls' restroom?

Girls' restroom? What are you, thirteen? And yet you say that my mind's stuck in the gutter. Shame!

Bryan: You're thinking of them as a substitute for walking. OJ's thinking of them as a substitute for the car. Of course, once he gets one he'll be roping the kids' bikes to it and call it a train.

The Wife can drive the Segway and I'll tie my wheelchair to it....

boys?

Pathetic.

"steady, if modest, inroads among early adopters"

In other words, it's a bomb. Five years into the sales, the folks who are buying it aren't the early adopters--this should be its mature phase if it were a successful new product.

"Of course, once he gets one he'll be roping the kids' bikes to it and call it a train."

Priceless David. (It's funny b/c it's true).

I never got the point. It only goes 12 miles an hour, which is a ridiculously easy pace to beat on a bicycle, even one that costs 25 dollars at a garage sale.

And you can put a rack and panniers on a bike or even pull a trailer. The segway doesn't have any storage capacity. I wouldn't even buy one for $500. 500 dollars would buy you a pretty nice new bike or a used moped/scooter that can actually get you somewhere in a reasonable amount of time.

Maybe they could weld four of them together and sell it as the world's first environmentally friendly "Octocar", travelling at speeds of 48mph (4*12mph?) and hauling all your friends, down to the golf course - oh wait, they already have those, and they plug into your home outlet...oh well, what can you do.

Dorky is human. Ever watch someone walk?

It depends on who's doing the walkin'!!

But I will grant you, there is much inherent dorkiness in humans. Something about the Seqway amplifies it. It's like having a pocket protector for transportation.

Put a hundred-inch Victory V-twin and some straight pipes on that sucker and I bet you get more than 12 miles an hour out of it. Wouldn't make it any less dorky though.

The early, grandiose plans that Dean Kamen and company had for redesigning cities to be more Segway-friendly look laughable these days.

I've always thought they would be good for people who can't walk easily, but can still stand. The guy in the picture proves it.

Orrin's waiting for the version with steel wheels...

Maybe if it were styled like a roman chariot tethered to "invisible horses" (like those novelty "invisible dog" walking leashes), I could see it.