April 10, 2006
STOP THE PRESSES
There IS a problem with global warming... it stopped in 1998 (Bob Carter, Telegraph.co.uk, 4/9/06)
For many years now, human-caused climate change has been viewed as a large and urgent problem. In truth, however, the biggest part of the problem is neither environmental nor scientific, but a self-created political fiasco. Consider the simple fact, drawn from the official temperature records of the Climate Research Unit at the University of East Anglia, that for the years 1998-2005 global average temperature did not increase (there was actually a slight decrease, though not at a rate that differs significantly from zero).There's no getting around it: global cooling is a formidable foe. For everything we've done -- and our efforts have been considerable -- to confound it, it has fought us to a standstill. Stronger medicine is required though it will require sacrifice such as we've never seen before.
I call today for a Detroit Protocol for fighting global cooling. Obviously, we will need to subsidize gasoline, lower CAFE standards and drive ever larger vehicles. But that won't do to defeat this cagey foe. We need more two stroke engines. Water skiing and daily lawn watering and mowing must become compulsory. We need to create new, faster growing grass seeds. Our fashion mavens must push Eastern European chic: a single Trabant will do more to secure our future than any five Hummers, with their modern, counterproductive pollution controls. Open pit coal mining should be brought back, and then the coal should be burned in the open pits. Finally, I call upon our patriotic entertainment industry to give back a little of the bounty with which they have been blessed by flying constantly from Los Angeles to New York and back in all-but-empty private planes. To that end, I announce weekly summits on saving our Earth, to be held on each coast on alternating weeks. Open-pit bar-b-que will, of course, be served.
Posted by David Cohen at April 10, 2006 2:13 PMoj,
Glad to see your autophobia has not overcome your trenchant wit.
All best,
Ed
Posted by: Ed Bush at April 10, 2006 2:49 PMMan-made global warming is like WMD, a falsehood with which to force policy.
Posted by: oj at April 10, 2006 2:54 PMoj: Totally correct. The biggest pushers of anthropogenic warming have their own political & social agendas to push. They won't get all of what they want, but the economy is going to radically change, because that's what economies do. In a few decades they're going to be able to say "See, the globe is still warming, so we have to do even more, so Put Us In Charge!" or "See, the globe isn't warming anymore thanks to Our Warning Just In Time, so Put Us In Charge!"
Posted by: b at April 10, 2006 3:10 PMI'm going to be heartbroken if global warming doesn't happen.
Posted by: AllenS at April 10, 2006 5:50 PMYou raise an interesting thought David. Has anyone asked around to see what the reaction would be to fears of global cooling? I mean, they used to this this, so many you older guys know. Is the position that we're to only do something if the change is manmade? Other, don't bother? I'm just wondering if people would in fact be pushing solutions to global cooling.
Posted by: RC at April 10, 2006 7:06 PMBefore all the environmental scientists were convinced of the threat of global warming, they were all convinced of the threat of global cooling. For some reason, no one took it all that seriously.
Posted by: David Cohen at April 10, 2006 10:41 PMPossibly because it's easier to live in slightly colder climates than in somewhat hotter.
Another ice age wouldn't be all that terrible for advanced nations, although it wouldn't be great either.
Canada, Russia, and Northern Europe would be covered by glaciers, but that would take hundreds or thousands of years - plenty of time to adjust.
Besides, if we really wanted to stop them from being covered, we could install ginormous focused space mirrors to shine intense sunlight on the advancing glaciers, melting them.
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at April 11, 2006 3:34 AM
"Possibly because it's easier to live in slightly colder climates than in somewhat hotter."
Why?
Posted by: b at April 11, 2006 10:24 AMBecause it takes much less energy to manufacture and distribute warm clothing than it does to run fans and air conditioners.
Posted by: Michael Herdegen at April 11, 2006 11:18 AM
Cooling means shorter growing seasons. Therefore, periods of cooling are periods of disaster (e.g. the Dark Ages cold period). And whatever the effect of warmer temperatures on the Wisconsin dairy industry, burying Wisconsin under a half-mile of ice would be worse.
Posted by: Bob Hawkins at April 11, 2006 11:46 AM