February 2, 2006
IN THE BELLY OF THE FISH
President Jonah: A Dig led by Gore Vidal
While contemplating the ill-starred presidency of G.W. Bush, I looked about for some sort of divine analogy. As usual, when in need of enlightenment, I fell upon the Holy Bible, authorized King James version of 1611; turning by chance to the Book of Jonah, I read that Jonah, who, like Bush, chats with God, had suffered a falling out with the Almighty and thus became a jinx dogged by luck so bad that a cruise liner, thanks to his presence aboard, was about to sink in a storm at sea. Once the crew had determined that Jonah, a passenger, was the jinx, they threw him overboard and—Lo!—the storm abated. The three days and nights he subsequently spent in the belly of a nauseous whale must have seemed like a serious jinx to the digestion-challenged whale who extruded him much as the decent opinion of mankind has done to Bush.Father Neuhaus recently wrote on the media's ignorance of matters religious, a topic that we here have mentioned a time or two ourselves:Originally, God wanted Jonah to give hell to Nineveh, whose people, God noted disdainfully, “cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand,” so like the people of Baghdad who cannot fathom what democracy has to do with their destruction by the Cheney-Bush cabal. But the analogy becomes eerily precise when it comes to the hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico at a time when a president is not only incompetent but plainly jinxed by whatever faith he cringes before. Witness the ongoing screw-up of prescription drugs. Who knows what other disasters are in store for us thanks to the curse he is under? As the sailors fed the original Jonah to a whale, thus lifting the storm that was about to drown them, perhaps we the people can persuade President Jonah to retire to his other Eden in Crawford, Texas, taking his jinx with him. We deserve a rest. Plainly, so does he. Look at Nixon’s radiant features after his resignation! One can see former President Jonah in his sumptuous library happily catering to faith-based fans with animated scriptures rooted in “The Simpsons.”
An eager young thing with a national paper was interviewing me about yet another instance of political corruption. “Is this something new?” she asked. “No,” I said, “it’s been around ever since that unfortunate afternoon in the garden.” There was a long pause and then she asked, “What garden was that?” It was touching.That we have fallen into wicked ignorance has been a staple of conservative thought since that afternoon in the garden -- but I would have expected more from Gore Vidal, moonbat though he is. Having brought us to the Book of Jonah, Vidal ignores the riches of metaphor the story affords for some nonsense about the last hurricane season being G-d's judgment on George Bush. (Apparently it's only Pat Robertson who gets into trouble for saying these things.)What prompts me to mention this today is that I’m just off the phone with a reporter from the same national paper. He’s doing a story on Pope Benedict’s new encyclical. In the course of discussing the pontificate, I referred to the pope as the bishop of Rome. “That raises an interesting point,” he said. “Is it unusual that this pope is also the bishop of Rome?” He obviously thought he was on to a new angle. Once again, I tried to be gentle. Toward the end of our talk, he said with manifest sincerity, “My job is not only to get the story right but to explain what it means.” Ah yes, he is just the fellow to explain what this pontificate and the encyclical really mean. It is poignant.
Nineveh was located about where Mosul is today. Jonah was told to go warn Nineveh that it was facing distruction but tried to escape his fate because he knew what would happen: Nineveh would repent, G-d would forgive it and Jonah would look like a fool. Jonah's very efficacy as a true prophet would result in his looking like a false prophet. Is Bush Jonah and the UN G-d? One shudders to think so. It must be the opposite: the UN was the reluctant messenger and, if we can excuse the presumption, the US takes on the role of G-d. Saddam could have avoided our wrath by putting on sackcloth and ashes, but chose instead to disbelieve the messengers sent to warn him. Just one question remains: who is the fish. I suppose that one can take a broader view. George Bush is Jonah, his following in his father's footsteps is the mission to Nineveh and thus Jesus is the fish.
Posted by David Cohen at February 2, 2006 1:07 PMOne can see former President Jonah in his sumptuous library happily catering to faith-based fans with animated scriptures rooted in The Simpsons.
There is disdain, and there is disdain. He all but re-uttered the all time winner from the charts of contempt by calling his faith-based fans "poor, undereducated and easily led."
Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at February 2, 2006 1:55 PMI suspect that was written by Gore Vidal's pool boy or house elf. A professional shouldn't confuse "nauseous" and "nauseated." Moreover, there were no "cruise liners" worthy of the name in OT times, and many observers have noted that, whatever one thinks of the president's Christianity, he is not one to "cringe" before faith. Had a bible fell upon Mr. Vidal rather than the other way around, we'd have seen a better essay (but not by much).
Posted by: Patrick O'Hannigan at February 2, 2006 2:31 PMGore Vidal is still alive?
Posted by: erp at February 2, 2006 3:12 PMI wonder if Jonah is located with Job in the New Testament in the lefty version of the Bible...
Posted by: b at February 2, 2006 3:28 PMNo, I think the lefty version of the Bible has as its opening verse "A spectre is haunting Europe - the spectre of communism."
Posted by: John Barrett Jr. at February 2, 2006 3:32 PMCongratulations, a convincing argument for converting to Judaism inspired by Gore Vidal. The Rabbis would be impressed.
Posted by: pj at February 2, 2006 3:44 PMI with ERP here - Gore Vidal is alive *and* has a fan base of sorts. Amazing. The commenters on this latest effort are of a piece with those of the Democratic Underground. Lots of profanity, conspiracy mongering, and juvenile swipes at every facet of American culture.
Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at February 2, 2006 4:00 PMI hasten to add, the commenters over at www.truthdig.com, not the commenters here!
Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at February 2, 2006 4:08 PMFirst, he puts Cheney first in "Cheney/Bush cabal" to reinforce the old canard that Cheney is the senior partner. Then he encourages Bush to resign! Who does he think is going to become president if Bush resigns, Ralph Nader? Or does he seriously expect the whole line of succession to resign in order until he gets someone of the appropriate ideology? That's farther down the list than Jack Ryan, for crying out loud!
And that Simpsons remark...it reads as if it were written by someone who had never seen an episode of The Simpsons and was only putting it in there as a hip reference that the kids would enjoy.
Speaking of The Simpsons, here's a reference for everybody:
Lisa is reading Gore Vidal's latest novel, titled, "TOME." She sighs wistfully, "Gore Vidal's kissed more boys than I have."
"Girls, Lisa," Marge says, "Boys kiss girls."
Lisa rolls her eyes.
Gore Vidal, Norman Mailer and Walter Cronkite: they are all in the "are they still alive?" file as well as the "I just don't care" file.
Posted by: pchuck at February 2, 2006 5:34 PMThe fish? Why, it must be Hurricane Katrina. Or Jack Abramoff. Or Terri Schiavo. Or Karl Rove. Or Patrick Fitzgerald. Or Social Security. Or Richard Clarke. Or Ken Lay. Or Dan Rather. Or Kofi Annan. Or Mary Mapes. Or Molly Ivins. Or Rick Perlstein. Or David Boies. Or the Florida Supreme Court. Or Ann Richards.
For sure, the fish is not the loony left (Vidal).
The fish didn't win - in the end, it was merely a chamber for 3 days.
Posted by: ratbert at February 2, 2006 6:27 PMAh yes, he is just the fellow to explain what this pontificate and the encyclical really mean. It is poignant.
When I rule the world, all those aspiring to a Ph.D. in history will be required to make an accurate prediction of the future five years hence before they can claim their degrees. Anyone who cannot interpret the trends of the present has no business interpreting the narrative of the past.
In like manner, before journalists can go to press on a subject, they will have to pass a quiz composed by an expert on the rudimentary relevant facts.
A few years ago I heard an NPR interview of a women's chorus that had just recorded a collection of medieval chant. The interview paused to call attention to the text of the Magnificat. She was amazed, she said, to think of such a thing being sung in those patriarchal times of an all-male clergy. "It sounds like it was written by a woman!"
Ah, Gore Vidal.
Who can think of him without being reminded of his run-in with Willliam F. Buckley, years and years ago, during which Vidal, on live T.V., called Buckley a Nazi, and Buckley blew up and called Vidal a queer.
For the benefit of the whippersnappers who missed it by virtue of not having been born, the story, supposedly with links to film clips, is at http://www.pitt.edu/~kloman/debate.html
Posted by: Lou Gots at February 3, 2006 4:54 AM
Saw it live. On ABC, I believe.
Posted by: jdkelly at February 3, 2006 8:43 AMerp: Sorry--my fault: just add an "s" to "debate." It's there.
http://www.pitt.edu/~kloman/debates.html
Buckley sputtering with rage at Vidal's hate speech is truly unforgettable.
Posted by: Lou Gots at February 3, 2006 12:54 PM