January 8, 2006
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
America's model housewife turns feminist as husband abandons her (The Observer, Paul Harris, January 8, 2006)
Terry Hekker wrote a book in 1980 that made her famous. Ever Since Adam & Eve was a passionate defence of her decision to eschew a career and spend her life as a wife and a mother.Coming at the end of the Seventies, when feminism was enjoying a renaissance and the career woman was emerging from behind the cooker, Hekker became a celebrated poster child for more old-fashioned values. She wanted her job choice of 'homemaker' to be considered as valid as those of up-and-coming women bankers, bosses and company directors. The book sold well, Hekker appeared on all the TV prime-time chat shows and went on a national tour. But that was then.
Today, Hekker told The Observer, she is planning a follow-up book. Its working, albeit jokey, title is bluntly honest: Disregard First Book. For her life did not turn out as she planned, and she now believes her decision to become a housewife and homemaker should serve as a warning for young American women.
'My anachronistic book was written while I was in a successful marriage that I expected would go on forever. Sadly, it now has little relevance for modern women, except perhaps as a cautionary tale,' Hekker wrote last week as she announced her U-turn.
In a display of spectacular bad taste, Hekker's husband presented her with divorce papers on their 40th wedding anniversary and left her for a younger woman.
The father of modern feminism is Hugh Hefner.
Posted by Peter Burnet at January 8, 2006 8:47 PMNaw. Hugh and his proteges just took full advantage of it.
Posted by: ghostcat at January 8, 2006 9:08 PMIt's all about shunning. This scum should be told by all his friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc., that his behavior is completely and totally unacceptable. The fact that he knows this will never happen is a big reason why such choices get made.
Posted by: b at January 8, 2006 9:52 PMb, I think that's what OJ was referring to. But my first thought was "where are the children?". Alledgedly she raised five of them, surely at least one or two still like her.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at January 8, 2006 9:57 PMOne does suspect there's another side of the story.
Posted by: ghostcat at January 8, 2006 10:07 PMYeah, we'll have to wait for his book, "So I Married a Total Psycho Hell Bitch Vol.1"
I would luuuurve to know the full story here. Chances are he is a total scumbag, but who knows? And why can't she take him to the cleaners, what about alimony? Who is he, Tony Soprano?
Maybe her next book could be called "Stop Whining and Get a Lawyer, Moron".
Posted by: Amos at January 8, 2006 11:13 PMA woman stole my husband and now I'm gonna do my best to get rid of marriage for everyone. Sounds like a pretty typical reaction to me. "If I can't have him, no one can."
The book's title should be: "WHAT A WASTE!"
subtitled, "I could only keep my husband for forty years and all I've got to show for it is a best-selling book and five children."
Not to say he isn't a heel, of course. But all men are heels, that's why marriage is such an important institution.
Posted by: Randall Voth at January 9, 2006 12:00 AMMal 2:14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet [is] she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
Mal 2:15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
Mal 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for [one] covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
But, but, but. . .but nothing! So we recall that the so-called "Reformation" in both England and Germany commenced with a trashing of the plain words of Sacred Scripture. "Sola Scriptura"--that Old Nick--such a kidder!
Posted by: Lou Gots at January 9, 2006 12:10 AMThe fact that this lady found it necessary to write a book about her life choices is probably more to do with her personality than her commitment to ideals. Why should we regard her experience as definitive just because she, out of hundreds of thousands of American women, chose to publicly record it?
Posted by: calvin at January 9, 2006 5:10 AMBecause her life is IMPORTANT. And must be validated, that's the point of the new book and the change of mind. Though one might suggest if her world was big enough for either eventuality, she wouldn't have the problem.
Posted by: RC at January 9, 2006 6:58 AMLou: the society that Malachi preached to recognized polygamy and concubinage. It was not an either or proposition.
Posted by: Robert Schwartz at January 9, 2006 11:42 PM
Letters Published: January 8, 2006
Don't Blame Men
To the Editor:
Re "Paradise Lost (Domestic Division)," your Modern Love column of Jan. 1:
The article was heartbreaking to read for several reasons. First, the former husband of Terry Martin Hekker was my uncle, a man I loved and deeply respected and who made many heartbreaking mistakes. As a young woman, going through my own divorce, I saw him as a ray of hope that no matter how dark my life might seem, it is only passing, and it is up to each individual to find his or her own way out.
AMY BRUNDAGE
Weehawken, N.J.
Robert: In Malachi's time, one behaved treacherously to the wife of his youth by putting her aside, quite possibly to be replaced by a younger, prettier secondary wife.
What is done now is different how?
Posted by: Lou Gots at January 10, 2006 12:51 AM