January 22, 2006
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK OF HEALTHCARE
UF requirement for partner benefits: You must have sex (Jack Stripling, Florida Sun, 1/20/06)
University of Florida employees have to pledge that they're having sex with their domestic partners before qualifying for benefits under a new health care plan at the university.With employee benefits averaging one-third of total compensation and the sky-rocketing cost of healthinsurance, it seems like a small price to pay. Posted by David Cohen at January 22, 2006 7:12 PMThe partners of homosexual and heterosexual employees are eligible for coverage under UF's plan, which will take effect in February. The enrollment process began this month, and some employees have expressed concern about an affidavit that requires a pledge of sexual activity. . . .
As a member of the Senate, representing faculty in UF's College of Medicine, Behnke said she was compelled to learn more about UF's plan. She said she was taken aback to find that employees would be required to swear to prior sexual activity, a standard not applied to married couples covered by UF's primary health care plan.
"Are you going to police it?" Behnke asked Cavanaugh.
Cavanaugh said he had no plans to personally enforce the sex pledge. The "non-platonic" clause is "increasingly standard" in domestic partnership plans, Cavanaugh said. The clause is one of several methods used to legally ensure that an employer is only obligated to cover employees in a committed relationship, not longtime roommates.
Reminds me of the following song whose premise is: What if the government decided to tax sex? (I hope they're not monitoring this site - might give then ideas!)
L I C E N S I N G S E X
For driving cars and buying guns restrictions are applied
If they’d be enforced by law far fewer might have died
Many fees and licenses are needed to enjoy
The use of objects such as these, I’ve learned this when a boy.
Consider other fields in life where licensing might work
In order to have sex, you’d wait six hours for a clerk
A permit would be issued, embossed with eagle crest
Of course, this would require proving skill via a test.
First you buy this book that illustrates the methods used
You can’t sweet talk your way through this, the clerk can’t be seduced
Practice often, learn the lessons, do not think to cheat
Return again in one week’s time - be sure to be discreet.
Your test begins, now get in gear but always signal first
Courtesy is lesson one, about this be well-versed
Watch your speed, rapidity is not a sign of skill
Parking parallel as well as parking on a hill.
Your vehicle must pass inspection, clean and never soiled
Lubricate it often, it performs best when well-oiled
Now that you have passed the test, a plate of steel must hang
Behind the bumper on the rear - your ass, if you speak slang.
Some accept the numbers issued with a goodly grace
Others grumble softly, preferring vanity plates - extra large!
Either way remember a license of this kind
Does not give you license to drive with beer or wine.
Compare procedures of this sort to arming with a gun
To have sex you register one week before it’s done
A background check by officers, ensuring you are sane
You pass if you’re a good shot - so no one will be stained.
Your weapon should be hidden and always kept zip-locked
Do not leave it loaded and walk around half-cocked
Do not leave it hanging even briefly on the shelf
Practice your art often - with friends or by yourself.
Now that you’re a master, bate your breath at times
License does not let you use your weapon in all climes
Aim well at your target, at an angle or from above
Keep it covered or be sure you’re in the arms of love.
Isn't the end result going to be the abolition of partner benefits?
Posted by: Pepys at January 22, 2006 8:00 PMYes, I think that is the point of all this re-definition of Marriage. All that is exalted is to be low, bringing Equality to us all. The left has hated civilization from the start, and is doing everything it can to return us all to the Tribal state. Golden Past, Golden Future, but never gold now....
Posted by: Robert Mitchell Jr. at January 22, 2006 8:32 PMAs a second thought, the gay community has shown itself to have excellent tactics and criminally stupid stratagy. If marriage is destroyed, there will be a large back-lash, and they will be the target of a lot of rage. It will be unpleasent to watch.
Posted by: Robert Mitchell Jr. at January 22, 2006 8:36 PMUh, does getting to second base count?
Posted by: Peter B at January 22, 2006 8:42 PMI will just await the first lawsuit from someone disabled in such a way as to make sex impossible.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at January 22, 2006 8:51 PM It depends on what your definition of sex is...
See, Clinton was a leader after all!
Robert, the self hate that inspires all this is aimed at destruction of the species through extinction by default.
All partner benefits should be replaced by benefits for the birthing and nurture of children.
Posted by: Genecis at January 22, 2006 9:16 PMThat's not funny, that's sick.
The queers made this rule up themselves. Domestic partnership wasn't good enough, the institution they were having set up had to be a kind of perverse simulation of marriage, comsummated by physical coupling.
Posted by: Lou Gots at January 22, 2006 9:31 PMWe want the bedsheets as proof.
Posted by: joe shropshire at January 23, 2006 1:41 AM Genecis, thanks for your response. I believe that is what we had before the Left destroyed it(in their
quest for the new and contempt for the old). I do believe that your comment is a little too neutral. We don't(as a society) agree on what birth or children mean. Technology will soon give us whole new areas to fight over. Is a clone a child? Is a creature that has been genetical made a mute human?
Marriage worked, and every turn from it seems to bring us closer to Brave New World. Fun Fun Fun....
What about us old married guys?
Posted by: Robert Schwartz at January 23, 2006 2:03 AMOld married guys can substitute a photo of the toilet seat in the down position.
Posted by: joe shropshire at January 23, 2006 2:49 AM