December 29, 2005

TRICKS HE WILL DO:

Brit Jew marries dolphin (Joe Kot, 12/29/05, ynet)

Till death do us part? An unusual wedding ceremony was held in the southern resort town of Eilat on Wednesday, as Sharon Tendler, a 41-years-old Jewish millionaire from London married her beloved Cindy, a 35-years-old dolphin, Israel's leading newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported Thursday.

The groom, a resident of the Eilat dolphin reef, met Tendler 15 years ago, when she first visited the resort. The British rock concert producer took a liking to the dolphin and has made a habit of traveling to Eilat two or three times a year and spending time with her underwater sweetheart.

"The peace and tranquility underwater, and his love, would calm me down," the excited bride said after the wedding.

Perhaps Rabbi Eric Yoffie put it best: "We cannot forget that when Hitler came to power in 1933, one of the first things that he did was ban human-dolphin weddings."

Posted by Orrin Judd at December 29, 2005 2:30 PM
Comments

"I'm the happiest girl on earth," the bride said as she chocked back tears of emotion. "I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert," she stressed"

Good, that's reassuring.

Posted by: h-man at December 29, 2005 2:55 PM

Obviously, you are anti-dolphin, you hater.

Posted by: Brandon at December 29, 2005 3:09 PM

"Of course it's not murder if she now kills him, and she can always eat the evidence and use the bones to make a good soup stock. I wonder if it was really love at first sight

Posted by: h-man at December 29, 2005 3:16 PM

I are confused. Is "Cindy" a male or female dolphin? Because if it's a "lesbian marriage", that makes it all right.

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at December 29, 2005 3:23 PM

Well, dolphinhood is innate, so it would hardly be fair to block this sort of thing.

Posted by: David Cohen at December 29, 2005 3:39 PM

I wonder if anyone's advised her on the risks of sex with large mammals. Unlike the guy in Washington, I bet Sharon goes by drowning.

Posted by: pj at December 29, 2005 3:43 PM

"'I am not a pervert,' she stressed".

She's merely suffering from a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost!

Posted by: Ed Driscoll at December 29, 2005 3:48 PM

Brandon:

Those dolphin-friendly nets drive up the cost of tuna casserole, so, yes, I hate them.

Posted by: oj at December 29, 2005 4:06 PM

Plus you can never find good Dolphin Helper.

Posted by: David Cohen at December 29, 2005 4:12 PM

I bet Mike Daley has a recipe for it, but if you eat the dolphin won't its spouse show up and accuse you of adultery?

Posted by: oj at December 29, 2005 4:24 PM

I assume that Sharon is good friends with Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn.

Posted by: H.D. Miller at December 29, 2005 5:01 PM

H.D.:

Was that entirely necessary?

Posted by: oj at December 29, 2005 5:03 PM

Dolphins are not kosher. Dolphins are also rapists of other dolphins and have attempted to rape women. A homosexualist dolphin in Norway even tried to rape a man:

http://www.trashcity.org/WEIRD/ODD028.HTM

Posted by: Carter at December 29, 2005 5:04 PM

I bet she did it for tax reasons. The UK has some peculiar laws.

Posted by: David at December 29, 2005 5:14 PM

Sorry, OJ, but it was something that was floating around the internet last summer. Popped up on Metafilter and Fark

Posted by: H.D. Miller at December 29, 2005 5:26 PM

"... and his love, would calm me down ..."

Yeah, Cindy is a dolphin dude. Phhhew. For a while I thought it was lesbian love. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: AllenS at December 29, 2005 7:35 PM

Dolphin is not kosher, folks. Now, if she had married a salmon (smoked, preferably), that would be alright.

Posted by: obc at December 29, 2005 9:08 PM

I can just hear the conversation in the PI's office, a few years down the road:

"I think my dolphin's having an affair. There's something fishy going on with him, that's for sure."

Posted by: Mike Morley at December 30, 2005 6:32 AM

The "Love that dare not come up for air" will no longer be submerged!

Posted by: Flipper at December 30, 2005 8:34 AM
« THE MANHATTAN PROJECT OF THE WAR ON CARS: | Main | HEAR WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TERRORIST WHO TRIED KEEPING QUIET?: »