November 10, 2005
YOU’RE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A PRIVATE SOCIAL SECURITY ACCOUNT
So a professor walks into a bar... (Tom Spears, Ottawa Citizen, November 10th, 2005)
Psychologists from a couple of British universities have gone trolling for babes, and analysed 40 pickup lines in terms of likelihood of success. Or as they call it when applying for grants, they analysed "verbal signals of genetic quality."Believe it or not, they claim a man’’s best chance of impressing women is by saying something like: "It’s hot today isn’t it? It’s the best weather when you’re training for a marathon."
At least, that got the most favourable response from 205 women tested by the combined brainpower of Edinburgh AND Central Lancashire Universities.
Leaves you wondering what the worst pickup line was, right? It was this: "You’re the star that completes the constellation of my existence."
We keep trying: “Don’t you think the Third Way is key to saving the Anglosphere?” but the bouncer always throws us out.
"Hey, baby, I think that cars are an indication of the secular isolation of modern society, howzabout you?"
Posted by: Bryan at November 10, 2005 2:40 PMHey, baby, I keep and regularly update a list of the men I would want to be the "special friend" of if I go to prison. Tony Blair's great isn't he?
Posted by: Pepys at November 10, 2005 2:57 PMGirl, I know I've seen you in my Al-Qaeda Fantasy Ideology before.
Posted by: Matt C at November 10, 2005 3:22 PMThrowing in somthing about having the chauffer waiting to pick you up at the end of the marathon probably wouldn't hurt, either. And livery car rentals come cheap these days.
Posted by: John at November 10, 2005 4:30 PM"Hi! My name is AllenS, I'd like to take you out once, and then, marry you."
I'm still single.
Posted by: AllenS at November 10, 2005 4:52 PMMy best try...
"I like that dress you're wearing! In spite of the horizontal stripes, you really don't look fat at all."
Unfortunately, not many women nowadays appreciate a sincere compliment!
Posted by: Eugene S. at November 10, 2005 6:27 PMOJ:
Amusingly, I see that "Hey baby, I think the 19th Amendment was a colossal mistake and ought to be repealed" seems to have landed you a wife.
It's like the Seinfeld episode where George does the exact opposite of everything he would normally do, and by the end of the day he's wearing a fancy suit and working for the Yankees.
Posted by: Matt Murphy at November 10, 2005 8:55 PMSo, when I was sitting in a bar the other day and a guy comes in yelling all lawyers are assholes, and I tell him I resent that remark and he, then, asks me if I'm a lawyer, to which I respond, no, I'm an asshole, is not going to be endearing to the opposite sex in attendance?
Mike
"Want to scratch my hairy back?"
It seems to work for some guys.
Posted by: ratbert at November 10, 2005 9:48 PM"i just bought trump's first toupee on ebay, want to come up and see it ?" works like a charm for me
Posted by: sy sperling at November 10, 2005 11:28 PMI'm reminded of the Frasier episode where Roz takes Niles to a bar and tells him to just hang on a woman's every word. He introduces himself to a woman, she says her name is Adele, he says "really!! one L or two???" and things go on beautifully from there.
It's not really about what you say--well, unless you're going for the hotshit bitchy chicks. Make the initial connnection any way you want: with a wing woman, by asking for help with an NTN trivia question, by asking for other information like directions...then be fascinated by her and get her talking about herself.
Can't be worse than most pickup lines. ;>