September 26, 2005
IF YOU CAN'T FAKE SINCERITY....:
An ideal husband (Joshua Glenn, September 25, 2005, Boston Globe)
THE ONLY WAY for a married man to ''win the battle of the sexes," insists former Somerville resident and manliness expert Craig Boreth (he wrote ''The Hemingway Cookbook"), is to ''convince your wife that, in reality, she has won." Easier said than done, no doubt, but Boreth's new book, ''How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt: The Perfect Husband Handbook" , features 50-plus seemingly airtight stratagems for pulling this off.Husbands, if you haven't figured out how to act like you're listening closely at the breakfast table or apologize convincingly, or pretend not to look at other women, Boreth has solutions. These are, respectively: Practice what therapists call ''active listening" (pay attention to body language, ask questions, summarize); first de-escalate, then semi-apologize, then find out exactly what upset her, then be honest, then negotiate a compromise; and only glance--as though looking at the sun.
Rather than becoming perfect, ''a husband's only goal should be to create the perception in his wife's mind that he's perfect," Boreth said in an e-mail interview. ''If that requires a little subterfuge in order for him to maintain some degree of sanity and manhood, then so be it."
Every study ever done on healthy marriages reveals the same core fact--they depend on the wife winning and the husband having enough sense to realize it's not worth fighting about.
Posted by Orrin Judd at September 26, 2005 2:18 PM
Winning what?
Posted by: erp at September 26, 2005 2:32 PMeverything
Posted by: oj at September 26, 2005 2:39 PMDefine everything please.
Posted by: erp at September 26, 2005 3:10 PMYou win.
Posted by: oj at September 26, 2005 3:13 PMI agree wholeheartedly, but it works both ways.
Posted by: at September 26, 2005 3:25 PMIf it's not worth fighting about, why is it so important that they win?
Posted by: Brandon at September 26, 2005 3:30 PMNo, that's what's interesting--it only works the one way.
Posted by: oj at September 26, 2005 3:31 PMI understand that. Why do you think that is?
Posted by: Brandon at September 26, 2005 3:38 PMThey're women.
Posted by: oj at September 26, 2005 3:48 PMWhere's the chapter about just going to either the shed in back of the house or out to the golf course?
Posted by: John at September 26, 2005 3:58 PMYou've all lost your minds.
Posted by: erp at September 26, 2005 4:05 PMYes, you're certainly right...dear....
Posted by: oj at September 26, 2005 4:08 PMThree words that can save your marriage: I blame myself.
Posted by: jefferson park at September 26, 2005 4:10 PMI received this email this morning:
World's Shortest and Best Fairy Tale...
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went golfing, fishing and hunting a lot, and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
Posted by: AllenS![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://brothersjuddblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at September 26, 2005 5:04 PM
Yeah, what's happier than a lonely old drunk?
Posted by: oj at September 26, 2005 5:09 PM"I blame myself for marrying you"?
Not sure I wanna go there....
Posted by: Barry Meislin at September 26, 2005 5:09 PMNever, ever, finish the sentence Barry. Life's too short as it is.
Posted by: jefferson park at September 26, 2005 5:11 PMAs a current Somerville resident, I'm guessing he figured all this out after he became a former Somerville resident.
oj,
As you may remember, I deal various card games for an Indian Casino here in CA.
Most of my income comes from "tips" from the players.
One of my most profitable "schticks", with both male and female, is my secrets of a successful marriage schtick.
Simply stated, husbands only need learn the following phrases.
Yes, dear!
I'm sorry, dear!
It's all my fault, dear!
It won't happen again, dear!
Husbands and wives agree this is indeed the secret to golden wedding anniversaries.
BTW, apologies to Jewish readers, and spelling/grammar umpires, if "schtick" is mis-spelled.
Mike