September 7, 2005

BLOOD ENGORGED MEMBER OF THE EU:

Chirac's condition shrouded in secrecy (Elisabeth Rosenthal and Katrin Bennhold, SEPTEMBER 7, 2005, International Herald Tribune)

After a series of minimalist medical bulletins describing President Jacques Chirac's four-day day stay in a Paris hospital, it is still a public mystery what kind of neurological malady has befallen the president, although French military doctors at this point certainly know the diagnosis, independent experts said.

Because of the French tradition of near-total secrecy regarding the health of its leaders, it is still unclear if Chirac is suffering from a minor condition that requires observation or a potentially life-threatening illness. He has not been seen on television since his admission to the hospital.

The few terse phrases officially released have sought to play down the illness, but they have often sounded like a contradiction in terms, talking of a "little vascular accident," and a "slight vision problem," which nonetheless merited a week's hospital stay.

Posted by Orrin Judd at September 7, 2005 6:38 AM
Comments

So is condition is still "stable" then?

Well, isn't the world getting very interesting?

Does Sarkozy get a trial run or is it our "good friend" and Napoleon-lover Dom?

Posted by: Sandy P at September 7, 2005 9:31 AM

Obviously, Israel poisoned him. Secretly. Using long range microwaves from Tel Aviv.

(Remember, you heard it here first!)

Posted by: Barry Meislin at September 7, 2005 9:34 AM

He got the clap and went into denial. It got out of hand.

Orrin: And you thought he only gazed at his navel.

Posted by: g at September 7, 2005 10:09 AM

Tertiary stages of BDS.

This is what it looks like libs and Buchananites. Get some treatment before it's too late.

Posted by: Jim in Chicago at September 7, 2005 10:46 AM

Nuerological malady? He must have had a colonoscopy to determine that.

Posted by: Genecis at September 7, 2005 10:58 AM

You'd think a guy who fell for this perhaps ought to have his brain checked out.

Posted by: Matt Murphy at September 7, 2005 11:12 AM

Are you speculating that Chirac is on Viagra?

Posted by: ratbert at September 7, 2005 1:55 PM

It would be wrong to pray for anything but a full and speedy recovery. So we can pray for a full and speedy recovery and an immediate retirement.

Posted by: Robert Schwartz [TypeKey Profile Page] at September 7, 2005 2:41 PM

No, I'm saying he's a prick.

Posted by: oj at September 7, 2005 3:01 PM

Ok, now I get it. He was taking Viagra, and then had an erection that lasted more than 4 hours, and then, like the commercial says, consult your doctor. "slight vision problem" don't you go blind if you masterbate too much? If it wasn't so funny, I'd almost feel sorry for him.

Posted by: AllenS at September 7, 2005 3:31 PM

A "vascular accident" that causes a "vision problem" and "neurological malady" can only mean a stroke or brain hemorrhage.

Is he in the same hospital as Yasser Arafat?

Posted by: pj at September 7, 2005 4:26 PM

Since retirement means criminal charges, I would expect we are in for another Francisco Franco death watch. (Who is still dead, by the way.)

In the first hours of the coup, there were reports that Gorbachev had suffered a "9mm brain hemorrhage", similar to the one that killed Beria. I'm just sayin'...

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at September 7, 2005 7:20 PM

I think you can get a vision problem as a side efrfect from viagra. But, I am betting stroke and Jacques can only drool and belch now.

Posted by: Robert Schwartz [TypeKey Profile Page] at September 7, 2005 11:24 PM

Merde, don't forget the merde.

Posted by: ratbert at September 8, 2005 12:30 AM
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