August 20, 2005
IN A BETTER DAY THEY'D REALLY TORTURE THE MOMMA'S BOY (via Rick Turley):
'Three Stooges' Action Lands Boy in Court (The Associated Press, August 7, 2005)
A 15-year-old boy who pinched and twisted the nipples of a 13-year-old has been sentenced to three days of community service for harassment.David Thumler, 15, said the "titty-twister" was just horseplay. The mother of 13-year-old Matthew Cox counters that the incident was humiliating for her son, who saw it as an assault from an older, bigger bully. [...]
Ken Chapman, a Jackson County juvenile probation supervisor, said Oregon law defines physical harassment as "offensive physical touching."
That includes such adolescent antics as "wet-willies," "wedgies," "swirlies," "noogies" and all other forms of "Three Stooges" behavior, Chapman said.
According to David, the two boys were in line at a local deli when Matthew jokingly made an embarrassing remark to the female clerk about David. In retaliation, David counterattacked with the "titty-twister," the 15-year-old said.
"It's a thing of camaraderie," David said. "If he's going to assume our friendship is on that level, then so am I."
Talk about political correctness run amok--if he didn't at least get a pink elephant he has no right to complain. Sissy. Posted by Orrin Judd at August 20, 2005 12:00 AM
I hate to think what he would have got if he did a "rear admiral" to the kid.
Posted by: pchuck at August 20, 2005 12:48 PMInstead of sentencing him to 3 days of community service, I would have let Matthew give David:
2 "wet-willies"
6 "wedgies"
4 "swirlies"
10 "noogies"
I don't know what a "rear admiral" is, but by the sound of it, that might be going too far.
Posted by: AllenS at August 20, 2005 1:02 PMI almost got expelled for giving people swirlies, but in the end they let me stay in college.
Posted by: carter at August 20, 2005 1:35 PMPink elephant is a new one on me. Sounds like a beans and frank thing. I'm with AllenS on the rear admiral.
Our style was more Hertz (Hurts) Donuts (Don't It), pinkie squeezes or Indian Arm Rubs. The titty-twister is a classic, although in our crowd the purpose was more shirt "modification" than pain. Another shirt modification was girls ripping the "fruit loops" off the back of the guys shirts.
Posted by: Rick T. at August 20, 2005 4:07 PMThe "dreaded Rear Admiral" is a fictional torment made up by The Simpsons. Milhouse fears it.
I've never seen anyone get an atomic wedgie (wherein the underwear is pulled up all they way over the head) so I don't know if that one apocryphal.
Posted by: Governor Breck at August 20, 2005 5:22 PM"wherein the underwear is pulled up all the way over the head". What kind of underwear are people wearing? I wear boxers from WalMart. They don't stretch. "Toothpaste where you have no teeth". You people are weird. David Thumler, 15, is sounding like a reasonable young lad. He needs to be raised to be an "enforcer" on the War on Terror.
Posted by: AllenS at August 20, 2005 5:43 PMTitty twister? We called it a purple nurple.
Posted by: David Hill, The Bronx at August 20, 2005 5:53 PMAllen:
That it doesn't stretch that far right now is the point. I was once hung from a bedpost by my underwear--that's pretty huiliating.
Posted by: oj at August 20, 2005 6:15 PMGov:
How about a Trampoline? One gets you from the front, one from behind by your underwear and then they bounce you around for awhile.
Posted by: oj at August 20, 2005 6:16 PMIt must be very hard to be an adolescent boy.
Posted by: erp at August 20, 2005 6:52 PMGod (Jesus's dad), Orrin, sorry to hear about your childhood huiliating (sp?) encounter with the bedpost. I guess I don't really need to hear about the toothpaste where you have no teeth episode.
Posted by: AllenS at August 20, 2005 7:42 PMWeren't you the older brother in your family? Shouldn't you have been dishing out wedgies instead of receiving them?
Didn't you used to play a game with your school chums that involved bouncing a tennis ball off of each other's hinders? What the heck was that? Besides a horrific image burned into my brain, that is.
erp:
It can be difficult but what adolescent girls do to each other is just as bad.
Governor:
Caddy camp.
A-S-S was with the Brother.
http://www.brothersjudd.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/static.home/page/glossary
Posted by: oj at August 20, 2005 8:05 PMSorry Guv. Not even close.
Posted by: erp at August 20, 2005 9:15 PMGov:
Yeah, I know the "dreaded rear admiral" is a fictional Simpson's reference; however, it just sounds so nefarious and painful.
Posted by: pchuck at August 22, 2005 5:43 PMI went to a boys high school where wedgies occurred on a daily basis. I think I spent most of my freshmen year with my briefs up to my shoulders. Designer underwear didn't go over very well at a boys military school. I would have never dreamed of reporting it to the authorities, etc. Once I was hung on the fence around the track with my toes barely on the ground. It's pretty funny now and needless to say I gave alot of wedgies the next few years! I probably needed to be toughened up alitte.
Posted by: Kyle at August 31, 2005 8:35 PM