NEVER GET BEYOND THUNDERDOME THAT WAY:

Lack of hero leaves liberals languishing (J.P. Devine, 6/26/05, Kennebec Journal)

"When America was on its knees, he brought us to our feet." So goes the buzz line for Ron Howard's "Cinderella Man," a summer hit describing the 1935 bravura victory of New Jersey's "Irish" Jimmy Braddock over Max Baer.

What I want to know now, Mr. and Mrs. Democratic America, is where our "Cinderella Man or Woman" is when we need him or her.

The Democratic Party is truly on its knees. Who will be our Jimmy Braddock and bring us to our feet?

These are sad, dark days. Even people who truly like us are getting ready to take out the going-to-the-wake blue suit.

Even clear, liberal comics who are on our side, such as Jon Stewart and Bill Maher, are making fun of us.

They're saying the Democratic Party has no plan, no vision and, at this date, no credible candidate who can go up against the Rove Machine. I agree.

If Bush succeeds in loading the Supreme Court with Clarence Thomas clones, the prospect of seeing Democrats actually -- not metaphorically, you understand, but physically -- thrown to the lions in Madison Square Garden is next.