May 26, 2005

WE REST OUR CASE:

Soccer fans forced to watch women in bikinis (IOL, May 23 2005)

Enraged football fans took to the streets of Auckland at four on Sunday morning, looking for a bar showing the English FA Cup's outcome after the local Sky TV channel switched over to another programme at full time.

With Arsenal and Manchester United in a scoreless tie after the regulation 90 minutes of play, Sky Sport went to its next scheduled programme, "Sports Illustrated 2005 Swimwear at Play", the New Zealand Herald reported on Monday.

Fans left watching a parade of bikini-clad women missed 30 minutes of extra time and the first penalty shootout in the cup's 134-year history.

About 150 to 200 people at Auckland's Albion Hotel who described themselves as "gutted" when the coverage ended took to the streets of New Zealand's largest city in search of another bar showing the game, manager Paul Hafford told the paper.


Final proof that you can't be both a straight male and a soccer fan.

Posted by Orrin Judd at May 26, 2005 1:40 PM
Comments

So you're saying if Fox stopped showing a tied game 7 of the world series after the ninth inning in order to show chicks in bikinis you'd applaud b/c of your heterosexuality?

Hey why watch sports at all? No REAL man would sepdn time watching sports when he could be the Spice channel, eh?

Posted by: Jim in Chicago at May 26, 2005 2:00 PM

In an alternative universe, if they'd kept the game on and cut the SI special the headline would read: "Chronic masturbators upset, Sky shows footie match when they were looking forward to good wank."

(I guess we know which side of the wanker/football fan divide OJ is on.)

Posted by: Jim in Chicago at May 26, 2005 2:04 PM

Why don't they just skip the 90 minutes of running in circles and just go directly to the penalties shootout that's going to decide the game winner anyway?

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at May 26, 2005 2:46 PM

"So you're saying if Fox stopped showing a tied game 7 of the world series after the ninth inning in order to show chicks in bikinis you'd applaud b/c of your heterosexuality?"

Sorry, Jim. Not a good comparison. Baseball is a sport worth watching: intellectually stimulating, visually exciting, rich in history, and played by men who must master a huge number of diverse skills, both phycial and mental.

By comparison, soccer is a pointless activity best undertaken by creatures that lack opposable thumbs. You don't even have to be human to play soccer well. In fact, I have no doubt that mixed team of gibbons and chimps could give Man. U. a run for their money.

Posted by: H. D. Miller at May 26, 2005 3:01 PM

soccer was originally invented as a treatment (there is no cure, yet) for chronic "self-love".

Posted by: cjm at May 26, 2005 3:02 PM

You are right, Raoul. The shootouts are when the real men arrive.

Posted by: Peter B at May 26, 2005 3:03 PM

soccer was originally invented as a treatment (there is no cure, yet) for chronic "self-love".

Posted by: cjm at May 26, 2005 3:03 PM

Well, it certainly beats having had to watch "Heidi" when NBC cut away from a tight Jets-Raiders game back in 1968. I wonder if the memory of that cutaway would be so painful if NBC had switched to a bikini competition.

Posted by: Morrie at May 26, 2005 3:24 PM

Jim:

The choice between Onan and Arsenal goes rather lopsidedly to the love gun.

Posted by: oj at May 26, 2005 3:30 PM

Heidi was a hottie.

Posted by: oj at May 26, 2005 3:34 PM

Raoul: 120 minutes of senseless running. They played 90 minutes of regulation and 30 minutes of overtime without anyone scoring.

Posted by: Bob at May 26, 2005 3:43 PM

In what kind of a rational universe would there be a professional sports leauge that detrmines its championship by "the first penalty shootout in the cup's 134-year history."

Why can't they play until somebody scores?

Posted by: Robert Schwartz at May 26, 2005 4:36 PM

Onan wins handily?

Posted by: ratbert at May 26, 2005 4:37 PM

Palms down

Posted by: oj at May 26, 2005 4:47 PM

And if Onan beats Arsenal, imagine what Onan would do to Man U.

Posted by: jeff at May 26, 2005 5:46 PM

90 minutes, 120 minutes, you only make my point. At least hockey, another low scoring, going around in circles game, back when it was played regularly, would settle its championships by playing the actual game until someone scored. Didn't one Stanley Cup get decided in the 6th or 7th period?

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at May 26, 2005 6:55 PM

What! No love for the beautiful game at all? Where are all my peeps?

Posted by: Jim in Chicago at May 26, 2005 8:43 PM
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