Finally! Something for your more intellectually challenged readers! I actually feel I have a shot this time, and my Nevada Wolf Pack should be in despite their first round WAC tourney collapse. Do you have any books with pictures and simple words for us lowbrow state college types should we rise to the occassion? Perhaps something the children were reading last year?

Do what I did. Set up bookshelves in the basement.

Robert,

Those were full as soon as they were built. We won't even discuss the boxes of OJ's books in my attic!

Pat H

Don't get your hopes up. If Syracuse wins, Orrin will give out Battle Cry of Freedom. If not, the winner gets The Complete Canadian Consitutional Debates, 1864-7.

Usually when the Dr. Mrs. demands a library purge, OJ gives away a couple of slim paperbacks that he didn't like. This is how I got my copy of "The Forever War." With the 5 Colleges Booksale comeing up, I don't forsee his library getting any smaller.

Pat:

We've got a Thomas the Tank Engine collection that's the envy of every boy in the Anglosphere...

Gov:

Spill beans, no books.

oj,
Perhaps my girlfriend's kids can help me with the hard parts. They're getting one of those highfallutin' Catholic School educations.

OJ:

I'm picking Creighton.

Speaking of basketball, here's a nifty little Internet exercise for everyone: My old high school, which is an all-boys boarding school run by Benedictine monks, will play tonight for the Class B state championship of Nebraska. The first person to correctly figure out where I went to high school gets $100 in Monopoly money. "Pchuck" is disqualified from this contest since he lives in Omaha and probably already knows the answer.

I'm genuinely curious as to how long it takes an average Internet user to find this information. Luckily, BroJudd readers aren't average.

Mount Michael

Mount Michael?

Class B
Semifinals
Beatrice 44, Norris 32
Elkhorn Mount Michael 66, Lincoln Pius X 55

http://www.krvn.com/news/sports/?id=5851

Congrats to everyone! Sorry I'm late in responding; I just got back from the game (Mount Michael lost. I think Beatrice bribed the refs: Our student section was chanting "Call it both ways" before the game was over).

DJS wins, having apparently inched out Bruce Cleaver by a few seconds. DJS, where do I send the "money"?

I'll go out on a limb here and assume nobody who answered follows Class B Nebraska boys basketball very closely, so how did you find the information? How many website visits did it take, where did you look, etc?

One more thing: Roughly how long did it take you guys to find this info? Looking at the posting times, it was probably less than 10 minutes.

Pretty cool how easy it's getting to access information these days.

By the way, my Mount Michael Knights got screwed by the zebras tonight. Or did I mention that already? ;-)

Matt -

45 seconds or so for the Google search.

Sorry your team lost!

Bros. Judd readers are bibliophiles (bibliomaniacs?), so I'd like to ask your help in finding a novel.

I was nine or ten when I read it. Most of the details are long forgotten.

The best way I can describe it would be as a cross between Hans in Luck, David Copperfield, Death of a Salesman and Justine (de Sade).

The storyline is, a naive young fellow goes out into the world and is beset by a long line of mishaps and tragedies: "friends" rob him, he is maimed by accidents, and throughout it all he retains his simpleminded trusting attitude.

While he never loses heart, the hits just keep coming. The tone of the novel is hard to describe. I remember it as a mix of ribald humor and clockwork-like inevitability.

Any suggestions?

Eugene:

Candide? This is the best of all popular worlds...

Candide it ain't. Voltaire's novel is oddly insubstantial, perhaps because Candide for him was a cardboard cutout on which to paint a caricature of Leibniz.

I had to struggle to finish Candide.

The novel I want to find, however, drew me in and held me like a vise. There are all kinds of coal black humor manifestations in popular culture: Tom Waits, William S. Burroughs... the book I am looking for is the mother lode.

I want to find it, read it a second time, and burn it.

Eugene;

Is it contemporary or classic?

Matt,

That's okay about the cash prize. The thrill of victory is reward enough.

My first google search included the terms "benedictine monks", nebraska and "high school". The second entry in the result set was a page on the omahachamber.net site that listed Mount Michael as a K-12 private school in Omaha. Maybe 20 seconds?

On another topic, I have some bad news for you Syracuse fans. Georgia Tech is going to win the NCAA tournament.

Wow, you guys are good. I told this to someone I know and she figured maybe you could find it quickly if you typed in "boarding school," "Nebraska," and "Benedictine." I probably should have left out the Benedictine part -- that made it too easy (not even necessary to look up the basketball game!). Mount Michael isn't K-12, though...just a high school.

In other news, my dad picked Georgia Tech last year in his pool, figuring the odds were bad because they were a #3 seed. Hah. They might've won the ACC today if they hadn't called that ridiculous foul on the Yellowjackets in the closing seconds that should've been called on Duke. Helluva bunch of engineers.

"The Razor's Edge," a book I used for every essay question throughout a brilliant high school career. Never failed to produce an A+. Didn't matter what the topic, I could always bring it around to this fabulously rich mine of material. I really should have written Maugham a thank you note for being so brilliant.

I haven't read it in 50 years. I wonder what I would think of it now?

This is my first sports pool. Today is the day to look for the picks, but I don't know where to find them.

Need mucho help with this.

I know they make air conditioners in Syracuse.

Is there a college there too?

erp,
Go here for a printable version of the brackets. You'll be able to find research help EVERYWHERE over the next few days, but ESPN.com is a good one stop shop.

http://msn.foxsports.com/id/3461100

GO Vermont Catamites...er, Catamounts!!!

I wonder what former Washington Huskies football coach Rick Neuheisel's bracket looks like.

Duke!!!!!!!

Orrin,

I think the setting was early 20th century.

The novel should have been, but wasn't, "You Can't Win". (There is, of course, a book by that title, written as a first-person account by an ex-con in the 1920s. It is not the one.)

Not Candide, but perhaps Terry Southern's take on the theme: Candy.

Certainly raunchy enough.

Bud--

The protagonist in my poorly remembered novel is a young man.

It has sadly come to my attention that, for the first time in 33 years, the great state of Indiana has no teams in the NCAA tournament.

To further the ignominy, the state does have the champions of both the men's and women's NCAA soccer. Somewhere Bobby Plump is weeping.

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Kiss that bracket good bye. Way to go Catamounts

Ha! Ha!

Sorry 'bout that.

Why does Jim Boeheim hate me?

Ghostcats (Indian lingo for catamounts) rule!

Stinky Bracket! Stinky Bracket!

Now I'll never know what happened to Thomas the Tank Engine.

Why doesn't Jim Boeheim coach offense? Does that zone really require all the practice time?

How about those Bucknell Bisons! Anyone have Kansas winning more than one game?

Bartman - I'm delighted at the success of anyone who clears the bracket for my UConn Huskies. Go Iowa State!

Did anyone watch the end of the Kansas game last night? Does their coach, Bill Self, have even the merest clue how to coach the end of a close game?

The point guard for Bucknell fouls out and is replaced with 25 seconds to go by a true freshman. Does Kansas press? Are you kidding? They dropped back into a zone and let the kid come up unmolested. That's just nuts. Later, the kid gets fouled and misses the front end of the 1 & 1. Kansas with a chance to tie calls timeout before they get the ball to half-court so they have to bring the ball the length of the court, burning more clock time.

There was nobody on Bucknell who would even be a benchwarmer on Kansas, so somebody's head has to roll.

I had Kansas going out to Wisconsin anyway.

OJ:

Does my comment on the 13th below count as a prediction? Judges?

"GO Vermont Catamites...er, Catamounts!!!"

Sure, but so does this:

http://www.brothersjudd.com/blog/archives/021783.html

In an earlier post, I seem to have stated that Georgia Tech would win the NCAA men's basketball tournament. That was I typo. I meant to say that Georgia Tech would be severely beaten by Louisville in the second round of the NCAA men's basketball tournament. Honest mistake. Could have happened to anyone, especially with these small laptop keyboards.

Eugene, I'd guess you are trying to remember one of Nathanael West's two lesser known novels, and I'm durned if I can remember which one the hero lost his limbs in, either 'A Cool Million' or 'The Dream Life of Balso Snell.'

No matter, the current edition has both in one volume.

However, if you were reading West at age 9 or 10, you were a precocious child.

Harry, thanks! I discovered your comment only now.

Will look up synopses for the West novels on the 'Net.

Salim Stoudemire is the greatest clutch shooter in college basketball.

Arizona will defeat Illinois!

Brandon - I can't wait to see him at the next level. What a shot on that kid. North Carolina MUST LOSE! And Kentucky advance. Then, 2nd place will be mine! I think.

"North Carolina MUST LOSE!"

Ha ha ha har har. Good frikkin luck, my man.

They might as well skip the next eight days and just give Carolina the trophy. The Tar Heels' "one shining moment" is such a given that the rest of this tourney is merely about running through the motions at this point.

Semolina:
Never underestimate their proven ability to let self-interest and lack of team play lead to head-scratching defeat. That expressed, I don't see how some second rate Big East school can take them down. Since my Nevada Wolf Pack has fallen it looks like I have to rely on the NC State version (Wolfpack - one word) to beat back the villainous 'Heels!

One word: Roywilliams

Semolina:

Have I seen you at Lucianne.com before?

Born, bred, dead, I assume?

Semolina:
The Wolfpack plan has collapsed. Go Badgers! How about those Dookies? You gotta love it.

oj - How do you know it's the Roy Williams curse, not the Kansas curse? Bucknell knows.

VICTORY FOR MSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should've been one single foul shot after that Spartan player collided with the Wildcat shooting the ball from (just barely) 3-point land at the end of regulation.

Considering the controversial nature of that shot, I guess the refs just split the difference.

Matt: I used to inhabit Lucianne (got banned for violating one of their odd rules, can't remember), but I don't know if I'm the born-bred-dead Tar Heel you're thinking about.

Michigan State now presents quite the quandary. Not because I'm worried about beating them, but because I live in Detroit. And I can't decide whether to now remove the Carolina flag from my car window. I don't mind getting flipped off while driving down the Chrysler Freeway, but I certainly don't need my car to get attacked.

Semolina:
Don't remove your flag. I'll be over in Detroit this week, and if I see you (well, if I see someone w/a Carolina flag on their car) on the freeway, I'll wave. I hope you don't get attacked for your loyalty to the tarheals, as wayward as it may be!

Hey, what's the deal around here? Were all you guys more interested in the opening rounds of this thing than in the actual Final Four and championship?!

I know that everybody's brackets got busted, but come on -- this weekend is one of the biggest moments in all of sports! Let's hear some sh*t-talking and stuff!

The first round is great--the rest tedious.

Yes, the first round is exciting. But it's exciting only because of the fruits it potentially bears for each of the 65 teams: Final Four appearances and national championships.

If these next three games have no import, then the opening rounds are merely exercises in ... what?

And you're the first person I've ever heard describe the Final Four as "tedious." Of course, you're also the only person I've heard describe smoking bans as a celebration of liberty.

What's tedious is contrarianism for the sake of contrarianism.

I personally think the Sweet Sixteen weekend is the best. Tho the first two days are great.

By the Final 4, you only really care if your team is still alive.

Luckily for me mine is.

Go Tarheels.

I'm waiting for someone to object to MSU's mascot "Sparty" because he represents war mongering, facist imperialists.

also, will someone please tell me what in the name of Jefferson Davis a "tarheel" is?

I'm waiting for someone to object to MSU's mascot "Sparty" because he represents war mongering, facist imperialists.

Also, will someone please tell me what in the name of Jefferson Davis a "tarheel" is?

Victory for MSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave:

Yes, but he gets points for buggery.

Dave W.:

Derivation of "Tar Heel"

And by the way: I object to MSU's mascot not because of politics, but because he looks weird and creepy. There's something about oversized, cartoonish human heads that just freaks a lot of people out. And not in a good, intimidating way. More in a "holy cow, that thing looks bizarre" way.

If you stare at "Sparty" for a few minutes, you realize just how... I don't know... goofy he kinda looks.

Big foam heads should be reserved for animal mascots only.

Semolina:

I and my brand-spanking-new size 8 Washington Nationals cap resent your comment deeply.

What... Don't tell me the caricature atop the page here is an Actual Representation of your head --??

No, it's flattering.

Well, you know what they say. Big head, big...

hat

Sparty is indeed goofy and freeky. I too thought him "wierd" when I first saw him.. He's also quite antiquated. Thanks for the info on "Tar Heel". I guess being one is like being a "damn yankee", or, as noted in the link you posted, a "cracker". Don't let the ACLU know of its derivation, or they'll decide we need to be protected from its use.

2 things:

1) The drawing of OJ's head at the top of the page is actually reduced from actual scale to save bandwidth so our computers don't crash everytime we log on. Remember the line from "So I Married an Axe Murderer" about the kid's head being so big it has its own satellites? Well, all I can say is just don't get too close to Orrin's noggin or the gravitational pull may be too strong for you.

2) As to OJ's current stance that the Final Four is "tedious"....I assume what he meant to say is "It's tedious for me when Syracuse isn't in the Final Four." Someday he'll post the tale of the trip he (and his orang and blue mohawk haircut) took to New Orleans in 1987. Let's just say that if the Dept. of Homeland Security existed back then, they would have never let him board the plane in Newark.

I guess you had fewer rules to constrain you back then, OJ.

Go Illini! Can't believe my alma mater finally came through.

Illini vs. Tar Heels for the crown... how politically incorrect!

Let's not forget that there is another final four this weekend. On a related note about politics, there are some who smirk at the investment acumen of the common man. Here is an example of an investment by Tennessee's first lottery winner.

Hark the sound of Tar Heel voices!

What a great championship final. Just the way it should be: the country's best two teams playing for the trophy in the tournament.

Cinderellas are fun once in a while, but this is what the tournament should really be about!

Foos,
I remember someone posted a picture of oj and his Mohawk of Purple Shame plus a brief outline of the story a few years ago. How about another look?

http://www.brothersjudd.com/webpage/ojcusehead.jpeg

This is my first sports pool and I have idea how one's placement is calculated.

Although my overall pick for winning, Illinois, is still in the game, I went from #33 to #19 after my pick, Michigan State, was defeated by North Carolina????

After the winner is decided tonight, I hope someone will explain how the ranking is calculated.

TAR.

HEELS.

Yes!!!

Why not do the girl's team?

Go Baylor!!!!!