April 5, 2005


Zachary Barnett (proud new father of Bohdan Barnett) won our NCAA pool and gets special bonus points for having done so despite putting 'Cuse through to the Final Four.

Register for the regular contest and then sign in to our pool:

The pool is: brothersjudd

Password: ericjulia

The Wife is insistent that the book herd be culled, so please win this thing and put her out of her misery, in non-Oregonian fashion.

We'll award prizes to the overall winners and for totally random reasons: whover has a #12 advancing furthest, anyone other than me picking 'Cuse to win, etc.

Posted by Orrin Judd at April 5, 2005 11:59 PM

Finally! Something for your more intellectually challenged readers! I actually feel I have a shot this time, and my Nevada Wolf Pack should be in despite their first round WAC tourney collapse. Do you have any books with pictures and simple words for us lowbrow state college types should we rise to the occassion? Perhaps something the children were reading last year?

Posted by: Pat H at March 12, 2005 11:23 AM

Do what I did. Set up bookshelves in the basement.

Posted by: Robert Schwartz at March 12, 2005 12:21 PM


Those were full as soon as they were built. We won't even discuss the boxes of OJ's books in my attic!

Posted by: The Other Brother at March 12, 2005 12:28 PM

Pat H

Don't get your hopes up. If Syracuse wins, Orrin will give out Battle Cry of Freedom. If not, the winner gets The Complete Canadian Consitutional Debates, 1864-7.

Posted by: Peter B at March 12, 2005 12:35 PM

Usually when the Dr. Mrs. demands a library purge, OJ gives away a couple of slim paperbacks that he didn't like. This is how I got my copy of "The Forever War." With the 5 Colleges Booksale comeing up, I don't forsee his library getting any smaller.

Posted by: Governor Breck at March 12, 2005 12:48 PM


We've got a Thomas the Tank Engine collection that's the envy of every boy in the Anglosphere...

Posted by: oj at March 12, 2005 12:51 PM


Spill beans, no books.

Posted by: oj at March 12, 2005 1:27 PM

Perhaps my girlfriend's kids can help me with the hard parts. They're getting one of those highfallutin' Catholic School educations.

Posted by: Pat H at March 12, 2005 1:37 PM


I'm picking Creighton.

Posted by: Matt Murphy at March 12, 2005 7:16 PM

Speaking of basketball, here's a nifty little Internet exercise for everyone: My old high school, which is an all-boys boarding school run by Benedictine monks, will play tonight for the Class B state championship of Nebraska. The first person to correctly figure out where I went to high school gets $100 in Monopoly money. "Pchuck" is disqualified from this contest since he lives in Omaha and probably already knows the answer.

I'm genuinely curious as to how long it takes an average Internet user to find this information. Luckily, BroJudd readers aren't average.

Posted by: Matt Murphy at March 12, 2005 7:24 PM

Mount Michael

Posted by: djs at March 12, 2005 7:34 PM

Mount Michael?

Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at March 12, 2005 7:34 PM

Class B
Beatrice 44, Norris 32
Elkhorn Mount Michael 66, Lincoln Pius X 55


Posted by: oj at March 12, 2005 7:39 PM

Congrats to everyone! Sorry I'm late in responding; I just got back from the game (Mount Michael lost. I think Beatrice bribed the refs: Our student section was chanting "Call it both ways" before the game was over).

DJS wins, having apparently inched out Bruce Cleaver by a few seconds. DJS, where do I send the "money"?

I'll go out on a limb here and assume nobody who answered follows Class B Nebraska boys basketball very closely, so how did you find the information? How many website visits did it take, where did you look, etc?

Posted by: Matt Murphy at March 13, 2005 2:24 AM

One more thing: Roughly how long did it take you guys to find this info? Looking at the posting times, it was probably less than 10 minutes.

Pretty cool how easy it's getting to access information these days.

By the way, my Mount Michael Knights got screwed by the zebras tonight. Or did I mention that already? ;-)

Posted by: Matt Murphy at March 13, 2005 2:37 AM

Matt -

45 seconds or so for the Google search.

Sorry your team lost!

Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at March 13, 2005 7:22 AM

Bros. Judd readers are bibliophiles (bibliomaniacs?), so I'd like to ask your help in finding a novel.

I was nine or ten when I read it. Most of the details are long forgotten.

The best way I can describe it would be as a cross between Hans in Luck, David Copperfield, Death of a Salesman and Justine (de Sade).

The storyline is, a naive young fellow goes out into the world and is beset by a long line of mishaps and tragedies: "friends" rob him, he is maimed by accidents, and throughout it all he retains his simpleminded trusting attitude.

While he never loses heart, the hits just keep coming. The tone of the novel is hard to describe. I remember it as a mix of ribald humor and clockwork-like inevitability.

Any suggestions?

Posted by: Eugene S. at March 13, 2005 8:09 AM


Candide? This is the best of all popular worlds...

Posted by: oj at March 13, 2005 8:37 AM

Candide it ain't. Voltaire's novel is oddly insubstantial, perhaps because Candide for him was a cardboard cutout on which to paint a caricature of Leibniz.

I had to struggle to finish Candide.

The novel I want to find, however, drew me in and held me like a vise. There are all kinds of coal black humor manifestations in popular culture: Tom Waits, William S. Burroughs... the book I am looking for is the mother lode.

I want to find it, read it a second time, and burn it.

Posted by: Eugene S. at March 13, 2005 8:53 AM


Is it contemporary or classic?

Posted by: oj at March 13, 2005 8:56 AM


That's okay about the cash prize. The thrill of victory is reward enough.

My first google search included the terms "benedictine monks", nebraska and "high school". The second entry in the result set was a page on the omahachamber.net site that listed Mount Michael as a K-12 private school in Omaha. Maybe 20 seconds?

On another topic, I have some bad news for you Syracuse fans. Georgia Tech is going to win the NCAA tournament.

Posted by: djs at March 13, 2005 5:41 PM

Wow, you guys are good. I told this to someone I know and she figured maybe you could find it quickly if you typed in "boarding school," "Nebraska," and "Benedictine." I probably should have left out the Benedictine part -- that made it too easy (not even necessary to look up the basketball game!). Mount Michael isn't K-12, though...just a high school.

In other news, my dad picked Georgia Tech last year in his pool, figuring the odds were bad because they were a #3 seed. Hah. They might've won the ACC today if they hadn't called that ridiculous foul on the Yellowjackets in the closing seconds that should've been called on Duke. Helluva bunch of engineers.

Posted by: Matt Murphy at March 13, 2005 6:04 PM

"The Razor's Edge," a book I used for every essay question throughout a brilliant high school career. Never failed to produce an A+. Didn't matter what the topic, I could always bring it around to this fabulously rich mine of material. I really should have written Maugham a thank you note for being so brilliant.

I haven't read it in 50 years. I wonder what I would think of it now?

Posted by: erp at March 13, 2005 6:26 PM

This is my first sports pool. Today is the day to look for the picks, but I don't know where to find them.

Need mucho help with this.

Posted by: erp at March 13, 2005 6:28 PM

I know they make air conditioners in Syracuse.

Is there a college there too?

Posted by: John J. Coupal at March 13, 2005 6:31 PM

Go here for a printable version of the brackets. You'll be able to find research help EVERYWHERE over the next few days, but ESPN.com is a good one stop shop.


Posted by: Pat H at March 13, 2005 8:07 PM

GO Vermont Catamites...er, Catamounts!!!

Posted by: Rick T. at March 13, 2005 8:33 PM

I wonder what former Washington Huskies football coach Rick Neuheisel's bracket looks like.

Posted by: carter at March 14, 2005 11:27 PM


Posted by: Robert Duquette at March 15, 2005 2:11 AM


I think the setting was early 20th century.

The novel should have been, but wasn't, "You Can't Win". (There is, of course, a book by that title, written as a first-person account by an ex-con in the 1920s. It is not the one.)

Posted by: Eugene S. at March 15, 2005 8:30 AM

Not Candide, but perhaps Terry Southern's take on the theme: Candy.

Certainly raunchy enough.

Posted by: Bud at March 15, 2005 1:50 PM


The protagonist in my poorly remembered novel is a young man.

Posted by: Eugene S. at March 15, 2005 3:04 PM

It has sadly come to my attention that, for the first time in 33 years, the great state of Indiana has no teams in the NCAA tournament.

To further the ignominy, the state does have the champions of both the men's and women's NCAA soccer. Somewhere Bobby Plump is weeping.

Posted by: Rick T. at March 15, 2005 6:09 PM

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Posted by: Adam at March 16, 2005 10:38 PM

Kiss that bracket good bye. Way to go Catamounts

Posted by: jeff at March 18, 2005 9:18 PM

Ha! Ha!

Posted by: Nelson Muntz at March 18, 2005 9:33 PM

Sorry 'bout that.

Posted by: erp at March 18, 2005 9:52 PM

Why does Jim Boeheim hate me?

Posted by: oj at March 18, 2005 10:10 PM

Ghostcats (Indian lingo for catamounts) rule!

Posted by: ghostcats at March 18, 2005 11:08 PM

Stinky Bracket! Stinky Bracket!

Now I'll never know what happened to Thomas the Tank Engine.

Posted by: Pat H at March 19, 2005 12:21 AM

Why doesn't Jim Boeheim coach offense? Does that zone really require all the practice time?

Posted by: pj at March 19, 2005 8:13 AM

How about those Bucknell Bisons! Anyone have Kansas winning more than one game?

Posted by: Bartman at March 19, 2005 8:51 AM

Bartman - I'm delighted at the success of anyone who clears the bracket for my UConn Huskies. Go Iowa State!

Posted by: pj at March 19, 2005 9:56 AM

Did anyone watch the end of the Kansas game last night? Does their coach, Bill Self, have even the merest clue how to coach the end of a close game?

The point guard for Bucknell fouls out and is replaced with 25 seconds to go by a true freshman. Does Kansas press? Are you kidding? They dropped back into a zone and let the kid come up unmolested. That's just nuts. Later, the kid gets fouled and misses the front end of the 1 & 1. Kansas with a chance to tie calls timeout before they get the ball to half-court so they have to bring the ball the length of the court, burning more clock time.

There was nobody on Bucknell who would even be a benchwarmer on Kansas, so somebody's head has to roll.

I had Kansas going out to Wisconsin anyway.

Posted by: bart at March 19, 2005 10:32 AM


Does my comment on the 13th below count as a prediction? Judges?

"GO Vermont Catamites...er, Catamounts!!!"

Posted by: Rick T. at March 19, 2005 3:16 PM

In an earlier post, I seem to have stated that Georgia Tech would win the NCAA men's basketball tournament. That was I typo. I meant to say that Georgia Tech would be severely beaten by Louisville in the second round of the NCAA men's basketball tournament. Honest mistake. Could have happened to anyone, especially with these small laptop keyboards.

Posted by: djs at March 20, 2005 11:44 PM

Eugene, I'd guess you are trying to remember one of Nathanael West's two lesser known novels, and I'm durned if I can remember which one the hero lost his limbs in, either 'A Cool Million' or 'The Dream Life of Balso Snell.'

No matter, the current edition has both in one volume.

However, if you were reading West at age 9 or 10, you were a precocious child.

Posted by: Harry Eagar at March 22, 2005 6:32 PM

Harry, thanks! I discovered your comment only now.

Will look up synopses for the West novels on the 'Net.

Posted by: Eugene S. at March 23, 2005 6:20 PM

Salim Stoudemire is the greatest clutch shooter in college basketball.

Arizona will defeat Illinois!

Posted by: Brandon at March 25, 2005 9:36 AM

Brandon - I can't wait to see him at the next level. What a shot on that kid. North Carolina MUST LOSE! And Kentucky advance. Then, 2nd place will be mine! I think.

Posted by: Pat H at March 25, 2005 11:45 AM

"North Carolina MUST LOSE!"

Ha ha ha har har. Good frikkin luck, my man.

They might as well skip the next eight days and just give Carolina the trophy. The Tar Heels' "one shining moment" is such a given that the rest of this tourney is merely about running through the motions at this point.

Posted by: Semolina at March 25, 2005 7:20 PM

Never underestimate their proven ability to let self-interest and lack of team play lead to head-scratching defeat. That expressed, I don't see how some second rate Big East school can take them down. Since my Nevada Wolf Pack has fallen it looks like I have to rely on the NC State version (Wolfpack - one word) to beat back the villainous 'Heels!

Posted by: Pat H at March 25, 2005 8:27 PM

One word: Roywilliams

Posted by: oj at March 25, 2005 8:30 PM


Have I seen you at Lucianne.com before?

Born, bred, dead, I assume?

Posted by: Matt Murphy at March 25, 2005 8:50 PM

The Wolfpack plan has collapsed. Go Badgers! How about those Dookies? You gotta love it.

Posted by: Pat H at March 25, 2005 9:56 PM

oj - How do you know it's the Roy Williams curse, not the Kansas curse? Bucknell knows.

Posted by: pj at March 26, 2005 4:57 PM

VICTORY FOR MSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Dave W. at March 27, 2005 9:54 PM

Should've been one single foul shot after that Spartan player collided with the Wildcat shooting the ball from (just barely) 3-point land at the end of regulation.

Considering the controversial nature of that shot, I guess the refs just split the difference.

Posted by: Matt Murphy at March 28, 2005 2:40 AM

Matt: I used to inhabit Lucianne (got banned for violating one of their odd rules, can't remember), but I don't know if I'm the born-bred-dead Tar Heel you're thinking about.

Michigan State now presents quite the quandary. Not because I'm worried about beating them, but because I live in Detroit. And I can't decide whether to now remove the Carolina flag from my car window. I don't mind getting flipped off while driving down the Chrysler Freeway, but I certainly don't need my car to get attacked.

Posted by: Semolina at March 28, 2005 9:46 AM

Don't remove your flag. I'll be over in Detroit this week, and if I see you (well, if I see someone w/a Carolina flag on their car) on the freeway, I'll wave. I hope you don't get attacked for your loyalty to the tarheals, as wayward as it may be!

Posted by: Dave W. at March 28, 2005 11:52 AM

Hey, what's the deal around here? Were all you guys more interested in the opening rounds of this thing than in the actual Final Four and championship?!

I know that everybody's brackets got busted, but come on -- this weekend is one of the biggest moments in all of sports! Let's hear some sh*t-talking and stuff!

Posted by: Semolina at April 1, 2005 6:56 PM

The first round is great--the rest tedious.

Posted by: oj at April 1, 2005 7:10 PM

Yes, the first round is exciting. But it's exciting only because of the fruits it potentially bears for each of the 65 teams: Final Four appearances and national championships.

If these next three games have no import, then the opening rounds are merely exercises in ... what?

And you're the first person I've ever heard describe the Final Four as "tedious." Of course, you're also the only person I've heard describe smoking bans as a celebration of liberty.

What's tedious is contrarianism for the sake of contrarianism.

Posted by: Semolina at April 1, 2005 7:16 PM

I personally think the Sweet Sixteen weekend is the best. Tho the first two days are great.

By the Final 4, you only really care if your team is still alive.

Luckily for me mine is.

Go Tarheels.

Posted by: Jim in Chicago at April 1, 2005 9:22 PM

I'm waiting for someone to object to MSU's mascot "Sparty" because he represents war mongering, facist imperialists.

also, will someone please tell me what in the name of Jefferson Davis a "tarheel" is?

Posted by: Dave W. at April 2, 2005 1:03 AM

I'm waiting for someone to object to MSU's mascot "Sparty" because he represents war mongering, facist imperialists.

Also, will someone please tell me what in the name of Jefferson Davis a "tarheel" is?

Victory for MSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Dave W. at April 2, 2005 1:04 AM


Yes, but he gets points for buggery.

Posted by: oj at April 2, 2005 1:12 AM

Dave W.:

Derivation of "Tar Heel"

Posted by: Semolina at April 2, 2005 7:37 AM

And by the way: I object to MSU's mascot not because of politics, but because he looks weird and creepy. There's something about oversized, cartoonish human heads that just freaks a lot of people out. And not in a good, intimidating way. More in a "holy cow, that thing looks bizarre" way.

If you stare at "Sparty" for a few minutes, you realize just how... I don't know... goofy he kinda looks.

Big foam heads should be reserved for animal mascots only.

Posted by: Semolina at April 2, 2005 8:23 AM


I and my brand-spanking-new size 8 Washington Nationals cap resent your comment deeply.

Posted by: oj at April 2, 2005 8:34 AM

What... Don't tell me the caricature atop the page here is an Actual Representation of your head --??

Posted by: Semolina at April 2, 2005 8:57 AM

No, it's flattering.

Posted by: oj at April 2, 2005 9:06 AM

Well, you know what they say. Big head, big...

Posted by: Semolina at April 2, 2005 9:10 AM


Posted by: oj at April 2, 2005 9:13 AM

Sparty is indeed goofy and freeky. I too thought him "wierd" when I first saw him.. He's also quite antiquated. Thanks for the info on "Tar Heel". I guess being one is like being a "damn yankee", or, as noted in the link you posted, a "cracker". Don't let the ACLU know of its derivation, or they'll decide we need to be protected from its use.

Posted by: Dave W. at April 2, 2005 10:48 AM

2 things:

1) The drawing of OJ's head at the top of the page is actually reduced from actual scale to save bandwidth so our computers don't crash everytime we log on. Remember the line from "So I Married an Axe Murderer" about the kid's head being so big it has its own satellites? Well, all I can say is just don't get too close to Orrin's noggin or the gravitational pull may be too strong for you.

2) As to OJ's current stance that the Final Four is "tedious"....I assume what he meant to say is "It's tedious for me when Syracuse isn't in the Final Four." Someday he'll post the tale of the trip he (and his orang and blue mohawk haircut) took to New Orleans in 1987. Let's just say that if the Dept. of Homeland Security existed back then, they would have never let him board the plane in Newark.

Posted by: Foos at April 2, 2005 12:12 PM

I guess you had fewer rules to constrain you back then, OJ.

Posted by: Dave W. at April 2, 2005 12:51 PM

Go Illini! Can't believe my alma mater finally came through.

Posted by: jdkelly at April 2, 2005 8:10 PM

Illini vs. Tar Heels for the crown... how politically incorrect!

Posted by: Dave W. at April 3, 2005 1:26 AM

Let's not forget that there is another final four this weekend. On a related note about politics, there are some who smirk at the investment acumen of the common man. Here is an example of an investment by Tennessee's first lottery winner.

Posted by: h-man at April 3, 2005 9:08 AM

Hark the sound of Tar Heel voices!

What a great championship final. Just the way it should be: the country's best two teams playing for the trophy in the tournament.

Cinderellas are fun once in a while, but this is what the tournament should really be about!

Posted by: Semolina at April 3, 2005 12:41 PM

I remember someone posted a picture of oj and his Mohawk of Purple Shame plus a brief outline of the story a few years ago. How about another look?

Posted by: Pat H at April 3, 2005 2:44 PM

This is my first sports pool and I have idea how one's placement is calculated.

Although my overall pick for winning, Illinois, is still in the game, I went from #33 to #19 after my pick, Michigan State, was defeated by North Carolina????

After the winner is decided tonight, I hope someone will explain how the ranking is calculated.

Posted by: erp at April 4, 2005 10:27 AM




Posted by: Semolina at April 5, 2005 10:26 AM

Why not do the girl's team?

Go Baylor!!!!!

Posted by: Jana at April 5, 2005 11:20 PM