April 29, 2005


John Kerry: The first 100 days (David Martin, April 29, 2005, Boston Globe)

Jan. 20 Watch TV as Bush sworn in again. Throw J. Crew socks and Godiva chocolate wrappers at set every time he says ''freedom" or ''democracy." Phone rings, but I don't answer. Call display shows it's Al Gore probably wanting to commiserate again. No way I'm joining that loser in Loserville.

Jan. 26 Channel all energies into tracking down members of Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Phone remaining loyal crew members to engage their services in search and destroy mission. Despite generous offer, none is ''reporting for duty." Regrettably, mission is terminated with extreme prejudice.

Jan. 31 Teresa issues ultimatum: Either I stop moping around the house in bathrobe all day or she'll cut off my weekly allowance. Her words hit me like a cold splash of water. Stop watching C-Span in hopes of finding ongoing election recounts. Briefly leave house to avoid Teresa's incessant swearing in Portuguese.

Feb. 2 Groundhog Day. If I see my own shadow, there'll be six more years of Republican rule. If I don't, there'll be eight. Back to bed. What's the point?

Feb. 9 Concerned about Bush's reform proposal, visit local Social Security office and inquire about filing early application for benefits. Informed that qualifying age is 67 and reminded that I am still employed by US Senate. Vow to attend at least one sitting in current session.

The schadenfreudic element of comedy makes it antithetical to modern PC liberalism.

Posted by Orrin Judd at April 29, 2005 8:51 AM

It was no secret that before the 2004 campaign even liberals hated Kerry because of his arrogant attitude. The fact this parody showed up in the Boston Globe shows both their true feelings about Kerry coming back out, and how much of a chance the French-looking senator from Massachusetts actually has of winning the 2008 nomination.

Posted by: John at April 29, 2005 8:56 AM

You made the blogosphere roundup today!
Keep up the good work.

Wayne M

Posted by: Wayne M at April 29, 2005 8:56 AM

John beat me to it - that this is in the Boston Globe (liberal leaning paper in Kerry's "hometown") says a lot about how Kerry is perceived.

Posted by: AWW at April 29, 2005 9:18 AM

He is perceived for what he is. A dangerous threatening caged hamster, ready to pounce at a moments notice.

Posted by: h-man at April 29, 2005 9:52 AM

My fellow Americans, it is my great pleasure to introduce the next President of the United-did-did States-ates-ates of America.

Posted by: David Cohen at April 29, 2005 11:18 AM

The Hillaryniks are praying for him to run against her in 2008. If you are going to fight for the heavyweight championship, you need to find a few Oscar Bonavenas, Jimmy Youngs, George Chuvalos and Scott LeDouxs to give you credibility before you get in the ring with the big boys. Sure, none of them could punch a lick but they were all W's on the ring record.

Ketchup Boy has Tex Cobb written all over him.

Posted by: bart at April 30, 2005 4:41 PM

April 30: John Kerry accepts an invitation to address the kindergaten graduates at the [deleted for security reasons].

Posted by: Dave W. at April 30, 2005 11:36 PM