March 9, 2005
THE FOOL PICKED THE UGLIEST ONE:
Man charged with assault on sheep (CARYL CLARKE, March 9, 2005, York Daily Record)
Somebody was making nighttime visits to farmer Terry Patterson's sheep barn in the 600 block of Big Mount Road in Paradise Township, police said.Patterson told police he saw the evidence of several sexual assaults on his sheep, but never the intruder.
So he installed an alarm and intercom system.
It sounded about 3 a.m. Tuesday. Patterson went to the barn while his wife, Cindy, called 911.
Patterson told Northern York County Regional Police he peered in the barn window and saw a man assaulting a sheep, according to an arrest affidavit filed in District Justice Gerald Shoemaker's office.
Bruce Charles Englar, 53, of the 4600 block of Bentz Road in North Codorus Township, is charged with felony burglary for entering a building with the intention of committing a crime, namely, having sexual intercourse with a sheep.
It's just a lifestyle choice... Posted by Orrin Judd at March 9, 2005 6:00 PM
It's just a lifestyle choice...
That's a sheep shot. Ewe should know better, you baaad boy.
Posted by: Mike Morley at March 9, 2005 6:15 PMI hear wedding bells!
Posted by: Tom C., Stamford, Ct. at March 9, 2005 6:31 PMBig Mount Road, eh? Paradise, eh? Add the obvious Tom Swiftie and you're in Montana.
Posted by: ghostcat at March 9, 2005 6:34 PMYou embraceable ewe!
Posted by: Oswald Booth Czolgosz at March 9, 2005 6:36 PMMike:
Some stories just sit there like lambs waiting to be led to the slaughter.
Posted by: oj at March 9, 2005 6:37 PMMoo, moo, I love you, I know you're a cow but anything will do....
Posted by: Sandy P at March 9, 2005 6:40 PMThe velcro gloves should have been a dead give away.
Posted by: Pat H at March 9, 2005 6:44 PMOh you people are so holier-than-thou aren't you? Look it's late, you've had a wonderful evening, you and the sheep have maybe had a little too much to drink... these things happen!
I challenge anybody here who has never broken into a barn to have sex with a sheep to cast the first stone.
Posted by: Amos at March 9, 2005 6:54 PM"Patterson told police he saw the evidence of several sexual assaults on his sheep, but never the intruder."
I'm curious as to what that evidence was. Was there a half-eaten box of chocolates in the sheep pen? Was he hearing the sounds of Barry White in the wee hours of the morning? Did some of the sheep seem more pre-occupied than usual when he checked up on them? If he played 'You're Havin' My Baby' on the CD player in the sheep barn did some of the sheep break out in tears?
Posted by: Bart at March 9, 2005 6:58 PMprobably just a democrat trying to drum up a few more votes for next time.
Posted by: cjm at March 9, 2005 7:15 PMBart: Couldn't have been the Naturalamb Condoms?
Posted by: John Resnick at March 9, 2005 7:23 PMNo mention in the story on whether or not a condom was used, which is surprising, given the emphasis on safe sex in this day and age.
Also, I'm sure the equal rights advocates will be keeping a close eye any potential punishment in the case, to make sure Englar doesn't receive any more lienant sentance then that carnival worker mentioned at the end of the story, who had sex with the ram back in '92.
Posted by: John at March 9, 2005 7:31 PMI knew that OJ was misjudging us by closing comments on the "cajeta" post.
Posted by: David Cohen at March 9, 2005 7:35 PMJohn:
Condoms deprive you of the lanolin effect, though obviously not ewe.
Posted by: oj at March 9, 2005 8:43 PMBart:
If our experience is any indicator they ran when they saw Greek letters.
Posted by: oj at March 9, 2005 8:46 PMOJ --
But if the guy was wearing a lambskin condom, wouldn't he have been unable to tell the difference?
Posted by: John at March 9, 2005 9:06 PMThe guy should get off. The sheep has a past.
Posted by: Peter B at March 9, 2005 9:20 PMWouldn't lambskin condoms would render the affair Oedipal, he asked sheepishly?.
Posted by: ghostcat at March 9, 2005 9:55 PMthe woody allen documentary "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex" had an educational segment on this very phenomena. daisy, oh daisy...
Posted by: cjm at March 9, 2005 10:24 PMBa'athists and buggery! It's a twofer.
Posted by: ratbert at March 9, 2005 11:37 PMAhhh, to be baaaaaaahk in Paradise!
Posted by: Lambda Mu at March 10, 2005 1:02 PMIf only a Professional Ethics Officer were on hand, this whole tawdry episode could have been avoided. Our Ovine Oedipus would have known to secure a notarized hoof-print on a consent form, at each sucessive level of intimacy.
(by "tawdry episode", I refer of course to the underlying offense, not to this comments section. necessarily.)
Posted by: Noel at March 10, 2005 9:22 PM