March 14, 2005

COMIN' DOWN IN THREE PART HARMONY:

Man claiming stolen sperm ordered to double child support (CHRIS HACK, March 14, 2005, Chicago Sun-Times)

A Cook County family court judge has ordered Chicago doctor Richard Phillips to double his child support payments, and he'll soon start building a relationship with a 5-year-old daughter he's never met.

But he won't give up a pending civil lawsuit accusing his old flame, Olympia Fields doctor Sharon Irons, of a "calculated, profound personal betrayal" after a brief tryst in 1999. Phillips insists the pair never had intercourse and that Irons "harvested" his sperm after oral sex to impregnate herself.

Phillips won a victory in the case last month when an appeals court ruled -- if he can actually prove he was the victim of a sperm scheme -- Irons can be held liable for inflicting emotional damages.

Irons insists she got pregnant "the old-fashioned way"...

Posted by Orrin Judd at March 14, 2005 10:48 AM
Comments

IIRC, tennis champ Boris Becker was also the unfortunate victim of a paternity suit that 'resulted' from a Lewinsky given in a broom closet or some such.

Sooner or later, simply leaving your hair, saliva, or other DNA sources will be sufficient to produce a child with your DNA, given the determination to clone humans and the determination of some to do evil. And you may not have had any contact *whatsoever* with the woman, never mind a Lewinsky, further still the 'old-fashioned' joining together that results in pregnancy!

Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at March 14, 2005 12:30 PM

Its not a defense. First nobody is going to believe you. Second if you do not want to become a parent, you can prevent accidents by the simple expedient of keeping your pants zipped.

Bruce. I wouldn't worry about the science fiction future. If he had never been with the woman while he was not fully dressed, this would not be in the papers.

Posted by: Robert Schwartz at March 14, 2005 2:16 PM

My wife is a family law attorney in Illinois. It in no way matters how you father a child. The court is interested only in the best interests of the child and that means the father provides support.

Posted by: Rick T. at March 14, 2005 3:32 PM

Rick T -

Yes, you're right; the interests of the child are paramount.

Robert -

I expect the scenario I outlined will occur in my lifetime. It would only be worth it to attach paternity to extremely wealthy/notorious/famous men, so I am at least relieved of that worry.

Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at March 14, 2005 4:55 PM

Bruce:

"I expect the scenario I outlined will occur in my lifetime."

Yes but the scenario that really occured in the Sun Times article, is as old a story as there is.

Posted by: Robert Schwartz at March 14, 2005 6:18 PM

Is a 4th dog ever needed?

Posted by: ghostcat at March 14, 2005 8:28 PM

"Is a 4th dog ever needed?"

Only if you are trying to feed more than 12 people.

Posted by: Robert Schwartz at March 14, 2005 11:37 PM

Henny Youngman got nothin' on us.

Posted by: ghostcat at March 15, 2005 12:12 AM

Cat: Now do you want to explain the question.

Posted by: Robert Schwartz at March 15, 2005 2:23 AM

Robert (if you're still checking this thread)-

OJ's typically clever headline (sub-tagline, whatever) alludes to "Just An Old-Fashion Love Song" by Three Dog Night. A "three dog night" is one so cold you need triple canines at the foot of the bed for warmth. I was wondering if the current cold spell in NH might call for a 4th mutt.

Posted by: ghostcat at March 16, 2005 7:37 PM

"Irons insists she got pregnant "the old-fashioned way"..."

Posted by: oj at March 16, 2005 7:41 PM
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