February 13, 2005
FOREVER YOUNG
A workout for your brain (Jacqueline Stenson, MSNBC, November 24th, 2004)
Until about 25 years ago, most scientists believed that senility was an inevitable part of aging, according to Dr. Gary Small, director of the UCLA Center on Aging who launched the memory training classes on campus.But they now know that’s not necessarily the case, says Small, author of “The Memory Prescription.”
Research has demonstrated, for example, that higher levels of education and plenty of mental stimulation throughout life are associated with lower rates of Alzheimer’s, he notes.
A study published last year in The New England Journal of Medicine found that people over 75 who often read, danced and played board games or musical instruments had lower rates of dementia, including Alzheimer's, than those who didn't frequently engage in such stimulating pursuits.
“It’s the use-it-or-lose-it theory,” Small says. “If you keep your brain cells active it improves their efficiency. You develop what we believe is a cognitive reserve.”
Wow. Do you suppose maybe...just maybe...
SUMMARY FROM THE BROTHERSJUDD ARCHIVES–FEBRUARY 13TH, 2045
1) Jeff Guinn makes a lengthy argument on how the key to comprehending natural evolution is to understand how recursive systems work. Mid-post, he forgets what those are.
2) Orrin’s time zone and state line rules have been replaced with “the living room rule”. His posts largely alternate between calls for nuclear war and arguments on why we should all convert to Catholicism.
3. Robert Schwartz posts Brothersjudd’s ten millionth comment. It says the time has finally come to invade Canada.
4. Bart combines a blistering condemnation of all things French and a demand for the immediate extermination of all French citizens with a lip-smacking description of the pureed Coquilles St-Jacques and Chablis he had the previous evening.
5. World poverty is still in the news. Most of us fault statism, tariffs and the Kyoto-imposed restrictions on development, but Harry blames the Christians.
6. With marriage and the family having collapsed completely, and the streets given over to a general bacchanalian revelry that threatens to bring down the Republic, AOG says we have mis-characterized the libertarian position and that he is all for stern social sanctions provided the law doesn’t get involved.
7. In a discussion on evolution, Brit accuses Orrin of a “wanton, wilful, shameless, outrageous, egregious and dishonest” mis-stating of the evidence. He threatens to leave and never come back if Orrin doesn’t stop it then and there.
8. In response to yet another vicious swipe at Canada, Harry rises to its defense with a post that begins: “Well, when my family and I were growing up in northern Manitoba....”
9. Buttercup makes a heartfelt plea for traditional morality, family values and childhood innocence, but confesses she is troubled by the scientifically verifiable fact that all men are jerks.
10. Answering Paul Cella’s critique of open immigration, David Cohen writes: “American exceptionalism, which embodies the universal yearnings of men and women everywhere, transcends and transforms all other cultures, creeds and faiths, Allah be praised.”
11. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse arrive–-for real this time. Michael Herdegen expresses complete confidence that technological innovation will solve it.
12. Dave W blesses us all, serene in the certainty that he is in the midst of true enlightenment.
Posted by Peter Burnet at February 13, 2005 7:43 PMIt will have been 50 years past time when we should have invaded Canada.
Posted by: Robert Schwartz at February 13, 2005 7:47 PMThis is just screaming hilarious.
May we all still be here in 2045 to relive the joke.
Posted by: Mike Morley at February 13, 2005 8:28 PMWhat's a family without a few eccentric uncles?
Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at February 13, 2005 8:39 PMSorry, but I'm not sure if I can post anymore. The computer network keeps interfering with the sensorium feed from "Debbie Does Sesame Street" on PBS and my grandkids are threatening to pull the plug.
Posted by: David Cohen at February 13, 2005 8:41 PMA few?
Posted by: Brandon at February 13, 2005 8:41 PMThanks for the belly laugh this evening!
My enlightenment, or my commitment to an insane asylum will be a direct result of participating in this blog for the next 40 years.
One question:
How in the heck did Justin Timberlake win the 2044 presidential election (the 1st President elected on the Green Party Ticket and 1st non-Republican elected in the 21st Century)?
Hey, you forgot to mention me. I live with my 105-year old parents and I'm working on my 11th masters degree. I'm still unmarried at age 73, but I'm quite confident the right person will come along someday. Boy, that octogenarian chick at the Omnicorp store check-out line sure seemed to like me. I gave her my MMC (Mental Microchip Communication) number but she has yet to initiate an intercourse procedure. As usual.
Oh, and I'm in grooming to take over Harry's position, since he will soon be cryogenically suspended. Here's a practice line: "Mr. Griffin Judd, the director of the nursing home, failed to awake me in time for my 9 o'clock feeding of lemon juice and vinegar. These kinds of things wouldn't happen if he were a Darwinist."
Posted by: Matt Murphy at February 13, 2005 10:19 PMI am sorry that real-world events have prevented me from doing much posting here recently, thus missing my chance to be humorously summarized by Peter....
Posted by: PapayaSF at February 13, 2005 10:45 PMWhat kind of modernist swine leaves a perfectly good bed to saunter off to the godforsaken living room?
Posted by: oj at February 13, 2005 11:42 PMDavid:
The sensorium feed would be fine if Microsoft would just adhere to the spec for pneumatic interfaces. Fortunately, their lack of quality is finally catching up to them, and I don't think they'll be able to maintain their monopoly position much longer.
Posted by: Mike Earl at February 13, 2005 11:47 PMIt looks like I should stop writing new comments and instead just put a link to this post whenever I feel compelled to fill in this little box at the bottom.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at February 14, 2005 12:43 AMAnd another thing, what makes President Timberlake and England's King William V so sure that they can bring about a lasting solution the the "Canadian conundrum"? Oh well, blessings to them both.
I hope we don't invade, at least not until the fall. I promised my grandkids I'd take them camping up by Perry Sound this summer. Good night and blessings to all.
Matt:
My 79 year young sister in Birmingham, MI is single. I'll relay her MMC number to you in the morning. Hay, keep plugging away on that (latest) degree. My late wife always said, "you can never have too much education."
While most diseases and mental maladies will have long since been cured through a combination of genetic engineering, nanotechnology and cybernetic implants, Peter will bemoan that a soon to be introduced downloadable patch that will cure the sense of vertigo experienced when people switch from reality to virtual reality mode will threaten to rob us of our sense of human dignity and free will.
Orrin will wax triumphant over the total domination of Christianity in American culture, but will continue to blame the widespread use of virtual reality tele-pornography on the 5 remaining atheists in America - who, coincidentally, will be contributors to his blog. He will also bemoan Microsoft's domination of the personal robot hygienic assistant market, touting the human interface of Apple's competing model as infinitely more humane.
Posted by: Robert Duquette at February 14, 2005 1:21 AMOh, no! The future ain't gonna be worth living in if Microsoft corners the butt-scratching robot market.
Posted by: joe shropshire at February 14, 2005 1:33 AMDave W. :
Well, I've got a ways to go before I reach 73 (actually, 63 -- my bad): we ARE talking 40 years from now. If your sister is currently 79, please tell her to wait 40 years but not get any older, and I'll get back to her.
Feeeeeeeelings, whoa whoa whoa...
Posted by: Matt Murphy at February 14, 2005 2:16 PMThis is just screaming hilarious.
May we all still be here in 2045 to relive the joke.
Just what I was going to say.
BTW--for those of you at home in the pixel audience keeping score, and also possessing memories completely untainted by time, I will resume my airline pilot job in two weeks.
So, if you live anywhere with Northwest Airlines DC-9 service, I could be in your neighborhood...
Posted by: Jeff Guinn at February 14, 2005 7:47 PMMatt, my sister is now ( year 2005) only 39, and at this present time she is not single. I hope you and Ms. Right get together long B4 2045!
Posted by: Dave W. at February 14, 2005 7:56 PM