Man, as abominations go the Frogs, or French that is, lucked out pretty well. I'd like to have a large tray of those babies boiled up nicely with some buttered corn on the cob and a boiled potato.

Why do they complain so much?

Are they surrendering to or retreating from the crayfish?

Well, turnabout's fair play. European beasties and plants (and people, for that matter) have been taking over America for the last few hundred years. It's nice to see America get some revenge against the Europeans who deserve it most.

Drat! By now they were supposed to be coming up on land and eating the French. What went wrong?

Why can't evolution produce a terrestrial crayfish that eats dandelions?

Yet the sinister seafood was willingly imported into France in the 1970s when supplies of indigenous crayfish suddenly declined. Then, in 1983, when local stocks had recovered, the importation into France of Louisiana crayfish was banned. Too late: procambarus clarkii was already embedded.

Hmmm. Wasn't George H.W. Bush CIA director during the 1970s, when this fish was first "imported" (if that's what they want to call it) to France. And wasn't this same George H.W. Bush vice-president under the notorious Francophobe Ronald Reagan in 1983, when the so-called importation supposedly ended (at least that's what they say). And hasn't this sudden epidemic of Louisana crayfish along the French coast come about during the presidency of George H.W. Bush's son, George W. Bush, who just happened to once be governor of Texas, which is right next to Louisiana, which is where said crayfish (in all liklihood a bio-engineered mutant craftily made to look like a crayfish) comes from.

I think the public must know about all these strange coincidences, and Keith Olbermann -- after his fine work last week detailing all the voter fraud conducted by Bush and Karl Rove across the nation -- should devote all five hours of "Countdown" this coming week to this amphibious bioterror attack by the Bushies and their minons upon our oldest and most important ally. In fact, now that the Scott Peterson trial is over MSNBC should turn over their entire prime-time programming line-up to this scandal, which no doubt is also connected to global warming.

Hey, the Frogs brought dandelions to North America, didn't they? An eye for an eye, a crayfish for a dandelion...

There seems to be an enourmous amount of plant life in Louisiana. I wonder what environment campaigner Jean-Marc Thirion is talking about.

"Let them eat tofu!" Karl Rove

This is laughable. In the France I know and love, si la vie vous donne des ecrevisses, preparez un ecrevisse etouffe'

If this doesn't work, we can always follow up with the "giant atomic lobsters the size of helicopters" (those of a certain age will recall the classic SNL skit).

On the other hand, if the French can't figure out what to do with Louisiana crayfish,* their national cuisine is vastly overrated.

(*=I prefer the Shrimp Creole at the Dee Felice Cafe in Covington, KY m'self.)