August 13, 2004
IF THEY AREN'T HAVING ANY SEX HOW COME THEY'RE SO MUCH HAPPIER?:
No Sex, Please, We're Republicans: Right now, to be sexually attuned and kinky is to be part of the anti-Bush revolution. Vive la résistance! (Mark Morford, August 13, 2004, SF Chronicle)
Oh my shining well-lubricated God but it's a darn fine time to be a sensually aware and libidinously curious and sexually active person in America.It's true. Just look. Look at all the right-wing sexual rigidity and born-again religious screeching and hateful conservative homophobia spewing around the country right now. Can't you just smell it?
Yes, it's the rank scent of raw misogyny and nipple-riffic horror and antichoice wailings, of all those illegal dildos in Texas and illegally married gays in San Francisco and the odor of a rabid fundamentalist antiporn crusader attorney general who doesn't smoke or drink or dance, one who covers up the terrifying breasts of awful statues and who apparently believes sexual relations should consist of two minutes with a barbed lash and a fistful of Vicodin. In the dark. While praying.
Why, it's enough to make any normal, sexually active, open-minded, even slightly perverted liberal in America right now feel like the Marquis de Sade. Which is, with the right perspective, a very good thing indeed.
Nowadays, the slightest hint of sexual kink in your life and you get to feel all dirty and naughty and outlandish. Slightest salacious twinge in your groinal region and you get to feel like some sort of delicious deviant, a heathen, a whore, a pagan, a loveslut, a wet-hot dreamboat of yes, something to be feared and loathed and dreaded by much of the antisex born-again leadership while simultaneously deeply, secretly desired by most of them. I mean, what's not to like?
It's hard to know which conceit of the self-obsessed pagans is more hilarious: (1) their belief that traditional folk are any less "sensually aware and libidinously curious and sexually active"; or (2) their belief that anyone cares about what the deviants are up to, so long as they do it in private. Posted by Orrin Judd at August 13, 2004 1:24 PM
(3) their belief that everyone else shares their juvenile obsession with sex.
Posted by: Raoul Ortega at August 13, 2004 1:30 PMThe more they insist on raising my consciousness, the more wisdom I see in Leviticus.
Posted by: Random Lawyer at August 13, 2004 1:34 PMthis is the kind of writing that could be inserted in a newspaper in 1970,1980, 1990, etc. It's just one guy spewing about conservative "uptightedness" versus his "let it all hang" and "bring em down" attitude. Ugh. And he is writing for a major news publication?
Posted by: neil at August 13, 2004 2:10 PMSex is like smallpox. Introduce sex into anything -- art, storytelling, personal interaction -- and sex will first take it over until nothing is left but Sex Sex Sex, then eventually destroy it. Just like a virus infecting a cell.
Just circulating through SoCal with eyes and ears open, I've been exposed to enough "sexual freedom" in my life to last me more than a lifetime. I've seen stuff that would make the Marquis de Sade vomit. And I don't want anything to do with something that disgusting and destructive -- ever.
Posted by: Ken at August 13, 2004 3:35 PMMost religious conservatives get married and have children. Since we know that children are born 9 months after sexual intercourse, doesn't that mean that all of these religious conservatives are having sex? How then could anyone claim that religious conservatives don't like sex? Could the truth simply be that religious conservatives are just as "sensually aware and libidinously curious and sexually active" as everyone else, but they just don't like reckless, irresponsible sex that often brings to its participants a lot of pain, regret and devestation?
Posted by: Vince at August 13, 2004 7:41 PM"I have as much sex as Joe Namath, just with one woman."
Roger Staubach
Posted by: Jeff at August 13, 2004 7:59 PM"I don't care what they do, so long as they don't do it on the sidewalk and scare the homeless."
Posted by: Noel at August 14, 2004 12:56 AMMorford is a notorious idiot. Mr I-won't-be-repressed-by-you-squarsvilles was getting seriously out of control a few months back and his editors said enough is enough and yanked his chain.
Of course he instantly folded like a deck-chair, adding the crime of cowardice to hypocracy, idiocy, and infantile verbal ego-masturbation.
Morford though, like the Ralls and Moores of this world, end up helping us. These morons have proven adept time and time again at alienating swing-voters and lending credibility to conservative claims that liberals are childish buffons not fit to be listened to in a time of serious crisis.
My only regret is that middle America dosn't hear more from this fool.
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