August 25, 2004
I KNEW AL GORE, SENATOR . . .
Kerry does "The Daily Show" (Mary Dalrymple, AP, 8/24/04)
As Kerry launched into one of his lengthy monologues about why President Bush avoids talking about issues like the economy, jobs and the environment, the comedian interrupted.One of the things that Al Gore was good at (notice how kind I'm being) was self-deprecating humor. It always led one to suspect, all evidence to the contrary not withstanding, that there might actually be a human being somewhere inside. Apparently, John Kerry is no Al Gore."I'm sorry," Stewart said. "Were you or were you not in Cambodia?"
Stewart and Kerry then lean in and stare each other down over the comedian's desk before Stewart asks about some of the other things Kerry's opponents are saying about him. . . .
Kerry said the debates would be a challenge. "The president has won every debate he's ever had," Kerry said. "He beat Ann Richards. He beat Al Gore. So, he's a good debater."
He's also not much of a politician. He didn't answer the Cambodia question. What the heck is the point of going on a comedy show if you're not going to take the opportunity -- friendly questioner, no follow up, relatively uninformed audience, inherent deniability -- to say anything you want ("It's a little embarrassing, but... actually, we were looking for weapons of mass destruction."). The only thing he does here that even approaches good politics, and it is so basic that having to credit him for it is a little sad, is try to lower debate expectations. Too bad that ship has sailed. If your supporters are calling your opponent a chimp and a moron, how do you tell them that you might not be up to the task of debating him?
*The only joke I came up with was lame, so here's a contest. We are looking for a good Cambodia joke, from John Kerry's POV, making light of the Cambodia controversy (John Kerry's version of Reagan's "I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponent's youth and inexperience"). The best joke left in the comments by midnight Wednesday will receive my used copy of James Lilek's book, "Mr. Obvious."
The contest is now closed. The winner will be announced this evening. Thanks to everyone who participated.
And the winner is ... Mike Earl. The actual John Kerry couldn't deliver this line properly, but a competent politician could use a line like this to move the focus back to the President and to what the Democrats have to hope is their ace in the hole. Mike: Send me an email with the address to which you would like the book sent.
Posted by David Cohen at August 25, 2004 8:02 AMOne of the many reasons why I want Dubya to winby a landslide is to watch Jon Stewart pee his pants over it.
Remember back when The Daily Show used to be funny?
I actually saw a clip of the The Daily Show bit. Kerry did a little better with some of the other questions, but he certainly didn't knock anything out of the park. Yes, Al Gore is funnier. (That's akin to "Hey, there's Goerring . . . he's not so bad after he's tossed back a few.")
On the subject of debates, I find that it is much more difficult litigating against a bad attorney than a good one for the reason that you feel forced to explain why his arguments are ridiculous before arguing the merits of your own position. It's hard to do it (at least for me) without calling the other guy "stupid" and coming off as petty.
Posted by: Your Brother at August 25, 2004 8:51 AMThat's the trick, alright. Not to mention the allowances that Judges tend to make for dumb lawyers. But I think that W will be able to handle Kerry without being too disdainful of the Senator.
Posted by: David Cohen at August 25, 2004 9:18 AMIt is also a bad sign when news reports start including phrases like "one of his lengthy monologues."
Posted by: David Cohen at August 25, 2004 9:46 AMKerry's joke response:
STEWART: "Were you or were you not in Cambodia?"
KERRY: "Yes...and no"
"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you"?
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at August 25, 2004 10:26 AM"It's a little embarrassing, but... actually, we were looking for weapons of mass destruction."
Posted by: mike earl at August 25, 2004 10:31 AM"That depends on the definition of the word 'in'."
Posted by: jim hamlen at August 25, 2004 10:32 AM"That depends on the definition of the word "Cambodia"."
Posted by: Peter B at August 25, 2004 10:52 AM"I wasn't sure where I was. I thought about pulling in at a Vietnamese village and asking directions, but if I'd done that I would have lost the respect of my men for good."
Posted by: Mike Morley at August 25, 2004 11:31 AM"My mission was to make it up into Cambodia. There was a Green Beret Colonel up there who'd gone insane. I was supposed to kill him."
Posted by: Mike Morley at August 25, 2004 11:52 AM"Indeed, I did have a relationship Cambodia that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong. But I (finger pointing) did... not... have... geographical..... relations.... with Laos."
Posted by: Andrew X at August 25, 2004 11:58 AM"You know, it's amazing to me how this has become some kind of big issue. The fact is, I was in Southeast Asia putting my life on the line for the country I love. Goerge W. Bush was flying the occasional sortie over Abilene."
EO
Posted by: EO at August 25, 2004 11:59 AMI learned a valuable lesson there: you just can't trust those darn AAA maps.
Posted by: Jeff Guinn at August 25, 2004 12:14 PM"John! Look, over there! Behind you! It's Enron and Halliburton!"
Posted by: Mike Morley at August 25, 2004 12:23 PMOy Veh Ist Mir!
Posted by: Robert Schwartz at August 25, 2004 12:55 PM"I was in Cambodia before I wasn't in it."
Posted by: Robert Duquette at August 25, 2004 1:26 PM"Yes. I was invited for dinner. As I have said before, it was Christmas."
Posted by: Peter B at August 25, 2004 1:27 PM"The details are still classified, but I was asked to drop off a Lieutenant from the Texas National Guard who was supposed to be in Alabama at the time, and, well..."
Posted by: brian at August 25, 2004 1:38 PM"Where is Angkor #@%%&^*& Wat?"
Posted by: ratbert at August 25, 2004 1:44 PMI'm going to, somewhat arbitrarily, amend Brian's entry to: "Yeah, I was looking for George Bush."
Posted by: David Cohen at August 25, 2004 1:52 PM"I've always been terrible with directions, Jon. That's why Teresa owns the SUV..."
Posted by: John at August 25, 2004 3:12 PM"Aw, c'mon - that's old hat."
Posted by: G. Gaudi at August 25, 2004 3:23 PM"What are you talking about? We're in Cambodia right now, aren't we?"
Posted by: AC at August 25, 2004 4:20 PMThose are pretty lame, tho' better than anything I can think of.
But I'd love to nab a copy of 'Mr. Obvious." Ebay has let me down.
Posted by: Harry Eagar at August 25, 2004 8:08 PMAnd thus the disdain of artists for critics.
(Harry: Amazon claims to have 8 copies for sale)
Posted by: David Cohen at August 25, 2004 8:40 PM"Heck, if it were a slightly richer country, I'd have married it."
Posted by: David Cohen at August 25, 2004 8:45 PM"Have you no shame, Mr. Stewart?"
or
"Yeah--I was looking for some nice flip-flops."
Posted by: jsmith at August 25, 2004 11:29 PMQ: "I'm sorry; Were you or were you not in Cambodia?"
A: "What's that on your tie?"
A: "President-elect Nixon asked me not to talk about it; you'll have to ask him."
A: "Go ahead...touch my forehead; it's okay."
A: "I'm sorry; did you say 'Cabanabodia'? Cos' I'd swear you said 'Cabanabodia'."
A: "Well, Jon, as you know, migrations into the mainland regions of Southeast Asia from the north continued well into historic times. The ancestors of the Cambodians came with earlier waves that followed in the wake of the proto-Malays. The Cambodians are closely related to the Mon who settled further to the west but of whom only small pockets survive in Thailand and Burma."
"According to conventional history, Jon, based largely on Chinese sources, when the Cambodians arrived in presentday Cambodia, two powerful states had already been established there by people of the Malay stock--Champa, controlling part of central and southern Vietnam, and Founan, sited in the southernmost part of Vietnam and most of presentday Cambodia. Founan was at the height of its power at the end of the fifth century A.D. Some scholars, such as Nasuruddin, believe that the court of Founan had Indian dance and music which spread...Oh, I see we're out of time. Where's the bathroom, Jon? My damned incontinence is flaring up again..."