METHINKS CABANA BOY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH:

Values, Values Everywhere: When John Kerry uses the word "values," it's meant to send a message: I am not who I am. (DAVID BROOKS, 7/17/04, NY Times)

Of course, if Kerry really shared our values, he probably wouldn't have to tell us so every minute, and once, just once, he might actually say what the values we share actually are.

But never mind, because focus groups show that we voters like a presidential candidate who shares our values. We Americans are not really sure we have virtues, convictions or principles, which seem kind of demanding. But you get a pollster to ask us about values, which seem so much friendlier, and we're just over the moon.

And, of course, the candidates can't just go be themselves and let us draw our own conclusions about their values. These days all campaigns are based on the consultants' conviction that voters are like particularly slow-witted sheep who have to be told exactly what to think.

This is the age of meta-narrative politics. Candidates become the narrators of their own campaigns, and they pummel the moral of every story into our heads: Hi, I'm running for president and I share your values.

This is like going on a date with someone who spends the whole night telling you what a great personality he or she has.

"What are your hobbies?"

"I've got a great personality."

"But what are your interests?"

"Have I mentioned my personality, which is really, really great?!"

Kerry and Edwards are going to keep using the word "values." And, given the overmanaged structure of their campaign, they probably have a Values and Spirituality Task Force. I see a values teleconference: Oprah on the speakerphone, Joseph Campbell coming in through the Ouija board, the Dalai Lama patched in by satellite.

If you were John Kerry would your message be "I am what I am"?

Posted by Orrin Judd at July 17, 2004 9:22 AM