PEPPER'S FOUR LOVES:

Office Space, Hollywood's Measure (Rob Ryder, 6/01/04, ESPN the Magazine)

Writers get treated badly because we're so annoying. Look at it from the agents and executives' POVs: Endless waves of neurotic whiners, looking to get paid to sit around and make up a bunch of crap.

It's enough to make you want to kiss it all goodbye, go off and start a summer professional basketball league.

But then another morsel presents itself.

In this case, the adaptation of a very funny novel about college football, written by the grand old coach, Pepper Rodgers.

This job, I can taste. It's right there. The producer who holds the rights wants me to do it. It's timely, with all the recruiting fiascoes taking place. And Pepper and I have established a nice vibe.

It's a few months ago. I'm at the Hamburger Hamlet on San Vicente sitting across from Pepper Rodgers and the producer, John Carls. Pepper coached at Kansas, UCLA and Georgia Tech. Pepper is the real deal. Plus, he played quarterback for the Yellow Jackets, and even kicked the game-winning field goal in the Orange Bowl back in 1952.

Now he works for Dan Snyder who happens to own the Washington Redskins. Pepper, who's on the far side of 70, obviously takes good care of himself. I ask him what it's like to work for Snyder. He considers, then softly drawls, "That man is a stern taskmaster. But he's fair."

Some years ago, Pepper wrote Fourth and Long Gone. It's one of those books that deserves to be a movie. Filled with the kind of whacky characters and incidents that can only be drawn from real life.

At the Hamburger Hamlet, I experienced firsthand Pepper Rodgers' story-telling talent:

"It was 1971 and we were going up to play Stanford. I addressed my team. 'Men, these Stanford boys have it all over you. In a couple of years they'll be driving the fanciest cars, they'll have the most money, and they'll marry the prettiest girls.

"But there's one thing you can do Saturday afternoon to make things right -- you can kick their [behind]s. And for the rest of your lives, no one can ever take that away from you."

Pepper sips from his ice tea and continues, "So we went up there and did exactly that, 59-13. We had 621 yards rushing. Not total, I'm talking on the ground. We pulverized them.

"At the press conference afterwards I said to all these reporters, 'There are four things I love in this life. Fast backs and big linemen, beautiful women and good music. The fast backs and big linemen I reserve for the afternoons. The beautiful women and good music I hold for after six o'clock.

"Then I looked at my watch and said, 'Gentlemen, it's after six o'clock,' and I walked out the door."