April 24, 2004

YEAH, BUT WHO'D GO WHEN WE ALREADY HAVE EPCOT?:

Europe to become Giant Theme Park! (www.weeklyworldnews.com, April 24, 2004)

Member nations of the European Union have announced plans to discontinue their status as individual countries in order to merge into one giant theme park!

The new park will be called EuroWorld and will cover the entire continent of what is now known as Europe. The decision was made by the EU countries in response to their collective realization that no one in Europe has had an innovative idea in well over a century.

With nothing new to offer visitors, the European countries decided to stop pretending they were still relevant, and to start celebrating their colorful pasts.

"Our stagnant continent has been a virtual museum for decades," explains an unnamed EU representative. "Many could argue that we already were nothing more than an amusement park. The decision to legally become a large theme park is really only a formality."

Each country will now be an exhibit within the park. For example, what was once known as Germany will now be the Germanland exhibit. Only traditional German foods such as bratwurst, sauerkraut and beer will be permitted in Germanland.

The citizens of each European country will now be considered "Euro hosts." The Euro hosts will be required to dress in traditional ethnic outfits from their respective homelands to better entertain visitors.

Thus, Germans must wear lederhosen at all times, Scots must wear kilts, and so forth.

"It's better this way. I remember vacationing a few years ago in Holland and nobody was wearing wooden shoes. And very few of them lived in windmills. I was outraged and demanded my money back from my travel agent," comments sociologist Alan Kennedy, a consultant to the EU for the theme park initiative.

Posted by Orrin Judd at April 24, 2004 8:08 AM
Comments

This is such a fantastic idea that I pray the Euro-elites will do everything to ram it through without any silly nonsense about referenda.

Posted by: Peter B at April 24, 2004 8:27 AM

Don't forget the true-to-life exhibit with thousands of bureaucrats milling around in their business suits, while tens of thousands of 50+ citizens stand nearby, waiting for their checks.

Posted by: jim hamlen at April 24, 2004 9:55 AM

And no visit is complete without a stop to HagueLand, where you can see European politics inaction (or is that two words?) Come and smell the nuance!

Posted by: John Barrett Jr. at April 24, 2004 11:17 AM

Might as well do what they can until they're bought out by IslamCo.

Posted by: R.W. at April 24, 2004 11:33 AM
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