HAIRY AND THE HENDERSON (via The Mother Judd):

Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes makes big difference (Barbara F. Meltz, 4/1/2004, Boston Globe)

It's really hard to be the parent of a toddler. It's even harder to be a toddler.

So contend the authors of two new books for parents of toddlers, "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by pediatrician Harvey Karp, and "Getting Your Child from No to Yes" by Jerry Wyckoff and Barbara C. Unell, a psychologist and parent educator who specialize in toddlers. The books offer different coping strategies, but share a helpful starting point: If we can see the world through a toddler's eyes, we are more likely to respond in ways that will reduce today's power struggles and teach skills for tomorrow's relationships.

A tall order for such little people?

That's exactly the way not to think about it, these authors say. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, toddlers have little in common with the mature people they will someday become. When we assume they are miniature adults, we end up ascribing adult motives to their behaviors ("You're doing this on purpose, just to embarrass me in front of the neighbors!"), or we tag them with adult labels that become self-fulfilling prophesies ("You're defying me because you're so stubborn.").

Our culture has become so infantilized dealing with a toddler isn't much different than dealing with most adults. I've started calling our two-year old "The Rain King", because all he ever says is: "I want."

Posted by Orrin Judd at April 2, 2004 4:05 PM