January 10, 2004
BLUE STATE, BLACK HEART:
'Breeders' Beware: The Bay Area Is An Unfriendly Place (Jennifer Nelson, January 5, 2004, SF Gate)
In the three years since I moved to the Bay Area, I have been astounded at the general rudeness of people in the area and, more specifically, the antichildren, antifamily attitude that prevails. [...]Part of my problem, I've decided, is that I'm easily tagged as a "breeder" by the many folks in the Bay Area who believe in population control or who just dislike children.
The tell-tale clues of my status are hard to miss: First, I drive a minivan with three, sometimes four, car seats. Second, I often am seen in the company of three children who call me "Mom." These traits have led people to freely let me know that they think I'm overpopulating the world. Probably the strangest experience I've had is being pregnant in the Bay Area. During my other pregnancies, I lived in Sacramento and was used to people smiling when they saw a pregnant woman. Here, no smiles -- mostly scowls.
My favorite story is this one: When I was getting physical therapy when I was six months pregnant (after falling and breaking my wrist), the therapist asked me whether I was pregnant with my first child (she had already told me that she had one child and planned to have only one). When I said, no, this was actually my third child, she immediately asked me whether I was going to have my tubes tied after the birth.
After my baby was born, the hostile looks and mutterings continued. While I was waiting in line for coffee one day with the kids in tow, one woman offered to me that she thought three children constituted a big family. When I told her it really isn't considered a large family in many other parts of the country, including the Midwest town I had recently moved from, she asked me with disdain, "Where was that, a religious community?" Then there was the woman who said to me as she pushed by my stroller, "Three? Don't you think you have enough?"
It's like Hell, but with a bay Posted by Orrin Judd at January 10, 2004 7:11 AM
I had seen this article, and thought about sending it to you, OJ. The SF Bayarians' political attitudes are congruent to those of the socialist states in Europe - so it should come as no surprise that their demographic attitudes are similar as well. It is so alien to my way of thinking that I honestly don't understand the motivation for any of it.
Posted by: Bruce Cleaver at January 10, 2004 9:46 AMI bet they don't scowl when they see two lesbians
or to homos walking down the street.
If they were really social engineers they'd I.Q.
test couples and require at least four children
for those with the high I.Q's.
These people cry for open borders so the uneducated masses can overrun the country, but
for some reason, middle class reproduction is
anathema.
A woman once referred to "rude New Yorkers" when telling me a story and I stopped her mid-sentence. I told her the rudest city in the US I'd ever visited was San Francisco, hands down. As a Californian, she was shocked...SHOCKED...to find out this rude New Yorker (now New Jerseyan) would think any place in that golden state inferior to a city on the east coast.
Sure, it was rude of me to interrupt her story, but I have to admit I get pretty tired of the old NYC rudeness stereotype (based on truth, I know, but times have changed), especially when there is a much more uncivilized place in this nation.
I'm not surprised they are obnoxious to families. They're obnoxious to everyone.
Posted by: NKR at January 10, 2004 10:28 AMOf course, when these people get to be 65, 75, and 85, they are going to be wishing for lots of young folk to care for them (and cover their expenses).
Posted by: jim hamlen at January 10, 2004 10:54 AMNYC has the rudeness stereotype partially, I think, because Southerners visit NYC and see the rudeness much more often than they visit the West Coast.
Posted by: John Thacker at January 10, 2004 1:00 PMI grew up near Boston, in the Providence area. big families were the norm back then in the 50s and 60s, mostly because of the poreponderance of Catholics (I was 1 of 7 children). Most of the children of those large Catholic families that I know have had much fewer, or no children. It may be due to a generational backlash among Catholics. I wouldn't be surprised, as some of the countries with the lowest birthrates today were largely Catholic (Italy & Spain come to mind).
Posted by: Robert D at January 10, 2004 2:00 PMThe reaction my family and I got when we visited San Francisco this past summer was very similar to what we encountered when we went to Paris 6 years ago (and we had one less child), which was total disdain for anyone under 12. And both places have tons of dogs.
I was startled to hear how low the birth rates are in Italy, because that was by the most child friendly place I have ever been.
By the way, I live in the Sunshine State and h*ll is going to Publix with 3 children in tow. The rude comments, eye rolling and sighs are far more apparant from those over 60 than under. So I don't think the opinion of the child less will improve with age.
Posted by: Buttercup at January 11, 2004 11:32 AMNew Yorkers aren't necessarily rude, they're just direct, quick-talking, and foul mouthed.
However, they usually don't mean to be offensive.