IN THE BRONX THEY CALL THEM CRASH HITS:

When Bonds Sends One Out, Hoynes Often Reels It In (Wall Street Journal, 9/17/2003)

Plenty of Giants fans bring a glove to Pacific Bell Park, hoping to catch a home-run ball in the stands. Tom Hoynes has a better idea. He shows up regularly with a 14-foot kayak and a salmon-landing net.

There's no way Mr. Hoynes can slip through the turnstiles, but that's fine with him. He and a few other zealots savor major-league baseball from the waters of McCovey Cove, an old shipping channel just beyond the right-field fence. Every few weeks, some slugger -- most likely Giants outfielder Barry Bonds -- belts a home run into the water. Then whoever paddles fastest can seize a piece of baseball history.

The 54-year-old Mr. Hoynes has beaten everyone else to the ball nine times so far. That puts him in the record books with a league-leading 29% of all "splash hits," as balls hit into the water are called hereabouts.

The Red Sox should cover Lansdowne Street with a water park, so we can put the Red Sox atop the American League in this new statistical category. With luck, Theo Epstein will persuade the Giants to swap Hoynes for Ramiro Mendoza.

Posted by Paul Jaminet at September 17, 2003 8:21 PM