September 6, 2003
FOCUSED ON THE PAIN:
Girls who cut: Self-harm is increasing among children as young as six. Hilary Freeman reports on why so many are turning to the razor, and one teenager tells her story (Hilary Freeman, September 2, 2003, The Guardian)
Experts are not sure why so many more young people are harming themselves than in the past, if indeed they are. According to Joe Ferns, emotional health promotion manager for the Samaritans, "It's hard to be sure if teenage self-harm really is on the increase or whether we're just more aware of it now, looking for it and asking the right questions so we find it. Some believe that the more you talk about an issue the more acceptable it becomes to come forward and talk about it."Young people are certainly under more pressure than in the past, particularly because of the education system, with its emphasis on coursework and targets. Children are having to take more responsibility for their futures from a much younger age. This could explain an increase in self-harm."
Ferns believes that modern coping strategies - or the lack of them - may also be to blame. "Whereas in the past we used to rely on support networks, we now tend to cope alone, as individuals, retreating into our rooms, listening to music or escaping through TV. Alone and in pain, a person is more likely to take out their feelings on themself."
Images of self-harm are all around us, particularly in religious iconography. Christianity is founded on the notion that Christ suffered for the world's sins and there have been sects which practised self-flagellation and mutilation throughout history. Pain and the spilling of our own blood are seen as ways of cleansing ourselves. Likewise, when teenagers cut themselves they often say it is a release, a way of punishing themselves or others.
The difference nowadays is that teenage icons are more likely to be pop stars or celebrities. Before he vanished in February 1995, the Manic Street Preachers' Richie Edwards famously carved the words "4 Real" into his arm as a public expression of his mental torment. Ferns says such images glamorise cutting, romanticising the practice. "Some self-harm websites actually seem to encourage young people to experiment with self-harm," he adds.
Ferns also worries about the effect of peer pressure on teenagers. "Our research shows a high correlation between people who self-harm and family members or friends who engage in the practice. People who have friends who self-harm are more likely to do it themselves." This suggests that publicity about the practice - even when it is well-meaning, such as a recent storyline in the teenage television soap Hollyoaks - might actually be counterproductive.
The general perception is that we live in a more violent, dangerous society than that of the past. But statistics fail to support this impression. Perhaps the truth is rather more disturbing. In modern Britain the only real increase in violence is in that which we inflict on ourselves. If our children do come to harm it is more than likely to be at their own hands.
It hardly needs pointing out that Christ was crucified by the State like a criminal. He didn't have his tongue pierced, or cut his arms with a razor, or whatever, just to be glamorous.
Meanwhile, it doesn't make the practice much more comprehensible, but for some flavor of what people think they're getting out of this self-mutilation, check out Johnny Cash's harrowing cover of Trent Reznor's Hurt on the album The Man Comes Around:
i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but i remember everything
what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt
i wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
i cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
i am still right here
what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt
if i could start again
a million miles away
i would keep myself
i would find a way
But Mr. Cash is a man in his seventies and has much to regret about the harm he's done to others; what can these teenage girls have done that's comparable?
Apparently nothing. Here's what a youngster cited in the story has to say:
Josephine Lowe (name changed) is 16. She began self-harming at 13. "I started cutting myself when I could no longer cope with being bullied about my weight and the way I look. It had been going on for 18 months and I was so desperate that the only way out I could see was to commit suicide. But when I tried to slit my wrists I couldn't go through with it. So I cut my arms instead. I was angry at myself and my body and it was a way of punishing myself.I felt totally calm and rational when I did it, like I was finally in control of my life. And the whole experience was such a relief. The pain is so intense that it gives you something to focus all your energy on - it helps you prove that you are still human and still have feelings.
From that point on it became my release. Whenever things got on top of me, when I was angry or upset, I'd go into my bedroom and cut myself. I'd use a knife or razors, whatever was handy. Sometimes I'd just make surface scratches and at other times, cut really deep, depending on how sharp the blade was and how I felt. I'd clean up the blood and hide the cuts and scars under long-sleeved tops.
It got to the stage where I was harming myself every day and it was completely spinning out of control. It was like an addiction. Every time I cut myself I felt a tremendous buzz, a high. I wanted to keep feeling like that but I also hated myself for doing it.
In her case it seems like hurting herself gave her the illusion of being in control of the types of pain others were inflicting on her every day. Her self-mutilation would not appear to even be an attempt to redeem the suffering she's caused others, but simply heaping additional hurts on those that have been inflicted on her already. We are one damned odd species. Posted by Orrin Judd at September 6, 2003 8:25 PM
Children are having to take more responsibility for their futures from a much younger age. This could explain an increase in self-harm.
Well, maybe, if the world came into being 50 years ago.
My wife the psychiatrist says that she has seen an increase in cutting, although definition (as self-mutiliation) is also expanding to cover things like scab picking or scoring the skin with a pin. In part, she thinks greater awareness of self-mutilation is responsible, both in giving girls and women the idea and in making it more socially acceptable. She says that the explanation patients commonly give is that they feel numb and want to experience either the pain, or just see the blood.
Personally, I suspect that the modern concept of childhood, which has expanded to include people in their early twenties, isn't working. Why this would effect girls more than boys I don't know.
Posted by: David Cohen at September 6, 2003 9:06 PMReminds me of the lines from a Goo-Goo Dolls song of 3 or 4 years ago:
You can't hide the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
And you bleed just to know you're alive.
I agree with what David said, except that children probably don't feel like children into their early twenties. It seems more likely that older teens and young adults want to return to childhood, probably because they left it too soon.
Posted by: jim hamlen at September 6, 2003 9:15 PMConsidering our grandfather, like many in his day, was working a full time job by the time he was 14, it's hard to countenance the growing up quicker bullwash.
Posted by: oj at September 7, 2003 12:14 AMIf Jennifer had started a full-time job at 13, she might never have started harming herself. I suspect she's too isolated, she needs to be in society and have obligations. Any solitary person can go crazy.
Posted by: pj at September 7, 2003 8:25 AMOops - Josephine, not Jennifer.
Posted by: pj at September 7, 2003 8:27 AMI wonder why this primarily, if not exclusively, affects girls?
Posted by: Jeff Guinn at September 7, 2003 8:27 AMBullwash perhaps - but your grandfather did't grow up with 57+ channels (and all their attendant moral vacuity), he didn't have 50% of his peers living with one parent (or someone who was not his parent), and he was (I presume) raised with some sort of foundation for his behavior (no matter how Victorian or similar). My grandfather was in the British Army in India by the time he was 17, leaving his home for good.
Surely you would agree that there is growing up right, and growing up empty. Would you claim that the child soldiers in Africa and the abandoned child criminals in Brazil et. al. have successfully passed from childhood?
Posted by: jim hamlen at September 7, 2003 8:55 AMJeff:
For the same reason they vote for the party of security rather than freedom.
Posted by: oj at September 7, 2003 9:29 AMJim:
Our kids grow up with less, not more, responsibility than our grandparents did. Children in Africa are a different story.
Posted by: oj at September 7, 2003 9:30 AMJeff -
My guess would be the boys engage in violence against others under the same conditions...
Posted by: Mike Earl at September 7, 2003 10:39 AMI'd have to agree with Mr. Judd on why this effects girls more than boys. I think the whole issue of how much security girls feel they need is dependent on their relationship with their dads. The girl in the story seems to have improved with the action taken by her father (though he seems to have done a little almost too late).
Posted by: Buttercup at September 7, 2003 10:40 AMCould it be that we are giving young girls a vision of womanhood that is totally at odds with their nature as women? We are basically telling them that they should grow up to be men. What female heroine in the movies or tv today is not either a master of kung-fu, or a hyper-aggressive lawyer, or a hardened, cynical cop?
Posted by: Robert D at September 7, 2003 11:18 AM"Young people are certainly under more pressure than in the past"
More pressure, but not to "to take more responsibility for their futures", but to be sexual, which is why this problem is prevalent mostly among young girls.
"Young people are certainly under more pressure than in the past"
More pressure, but not to "to take more responsibility for their futures", but to be sexual, which is why this problem is prevalent mostly among young girls.