April 1, 2003
WITLESS BUT LEADING THE BRITISH?:
Would the real George Bush please stand down: You may think the air of extreme witlessness impossible to mimic, but is the man on the podium the authentic Dubya, a trained stand-in or an animatronic lookalike? (Tim Dowling, March 27, 2003, The Guardian)Yesterday President George Bush made his first public appearance since the start of the war, speaking to service personnel at the MacDill airforce base in Tampa in an obvious bid to reassure Americans and boost the morale of the armed forces. But how do we know this is the real George Bush?Later in the day a man who looked and sounded like Mr Bush appeared alongside Tony Blair at Camp David, leaving intelligence experts to ponder
whether a lookalike had been used, and whether the same lookalike had been deployed on both occasions.It has long been suspected that Mr Bush employs a string of lookalikes for difficult or dangerous speaking engagements, some of whom may have had their ears specially enlarged for the task.
Most of those who regularly monitor Mr Bush's speech patterns believe that it was the genuine article who spoke at Central Command HQ in Florida
yesterday, pointing to a characteristic tendency toward quasi-biblical phrasing - "There will be a day of reckoning for the Iraqi regime, and that
day is drawing in near" - and an almost total absence of words of more than three syllables.Other experts disagree, pointing out that these consistencies originate with speech writers rather then the president himself, and that Bush's main vocal technique - the bewildered pause - is only too easy to imitate. [...]
For now, Bush-watchers are refusing to say publicly whether or not this is the real president of the United States or a clever, surgically-altered lookalike.
Privately, however, they have carefully observed this confused-looking man, with his stiff, empty gestures and false gravitas.
They have noted his peculiar phrasing, which gives little indication that he understands the content of what he is saying.
They have examined his every doomsday platitude, scrutinised his baffled expression and noted that he seems uncomfortable and completely lost whenever the teleprompter is switched off.
And they have concluded that it must really be him.
The Democrats, having lost to him on a wide range of issues and in a series of elections, have mostly stopped calling George W. Bush an idiot, but apparently the memo didn't make it across the pond. So we'd just ask Mr. Dowling one question: if he's so stupid, how'd he lead your country to war? Posted by Orrin Judd at April 1, 2003 7:53 PM
Gee, that's so inciteful. George Bush and Saddam Hussein are exactly the same.
Why didn't I see this before? My whole world view is changed.
(I know I've used this line before, but what the heck. If they can keep making the same tired jokes, so can I.)
Privately, however, they have carefully observed this confused-looking man, with his stiff, empty gestures and false gravitas.
They have noted his peculiar phrasing, which gives little indication that he understands the content of what he is saying.
They have also noticed his moronic ability to draw his enemies out onto a limb, prior to sawing it off and watching them plummet into the abyss, his utter lack of intellect as he repeatedly reveals his critical betters to be fools, knaves, nitwits, and boneheads, his complete foolishness as he backs his briliant adversaries in Congress, at the UN, and overseas, into corners where they have no choice but to do exactly what he wants them to do..... and does it again and again and again and again and again.......
All and all, barely a man who can chew gum even while sitting.
Ahhh, if only Jaque Chirac could be President of the US.
When all else fails, it's never too late to resort to ad hominem attacks.
Short-term gratification, though, I would expect. Which is why it has to be done so often, I suppose.
One comment for Mr Dowling: What's wrong with using words with less than 4 syllables? Churchill always used strong, simple words in his speeches.
I still disagree with the President on a lot of issues, but I admire his resolution on Iraq. Intelligence and leadership are two different qualities.
And if the President is truly as dumb as his critics say, then Orrin is right in disparaging the intelligence of his opponents in always losing to him. That I think is the real reason the Democrats are helpless: our leaders can't admit Bush is smarter than them.