February 14, 2003
NEARLY DISPOSITIVE:
JOKES OTHERS MAKE ABOUT AMERICANS (Progressive Review)Q: What's the difference between an American and an American bomb?
A: The bomb is smart enough to know where to find IraqWhat do you call someone who speaks three languages? --"Multilingual".
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? --"Bilingual".
What do you call someone who speaks one language? --"An American".In America, what do you call a worker who can fit a round peg in a round hole?
Answer: overqualifed.An American was telling one of his favorite jokes to a group of friends.
"Hell is a place where the cooks are British, the waiters are French, the policemen are Germans, and the trains are run by Italians." The lone European in the group pondered all this for a second and responded, "I can't say about the police and the trains, but you're probably right about going out to eat. A restaurant in Hell would be one where the cooks are British and the waiters are French -- and the customers are all Americans."
How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb? Fifteen: Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on "how funny-looking" local light bulbs are, three to hire local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don't come out.
What's the difference between Americans and the engines of the jets on which they travel abroad? After they land, the engines of the jets quit whining.
If there was any remaing doubt that all humor is conservative, this should silence it. Is this really the best the anti-Americans can do? Posted by Orrin Judd at February 14, 2003 6:50 PM
Anyone who voluntarily travels to Europe is nutz. Plenty of wonderful places to visit in the Western Hemisphere.
Posted by: erp at February 14, 2003 7:24 PMThe best they can come up with are derivative works of jokes Americans have told about both foreigners and of themselves.
But that's okay, history is about to pass them by.
Not one
of those stung, even a little! C'mon! Hurt my feelings!!! Insultez-moi! Quelqu'un! Quiconque!Where's Cyrano de Bergerac when you need him?!!
Why'd the American cross the road?
To save the world.
And they might want to think really carefully about the first one.
Posted by: David Cohen at February 15, 2003 9:49 AMOf course the worst part of it all is that these stupid, unilingual, backwards, obese, insular, parochial, barbaric Americans are the greatest military and economic power the world has ever seen, and they don't even seem to break a sweat doing it.
Note to the rest of the world: If we ever decide to actually go to a war footing...beware.