ALL COMEDY IS CONSERVATIVE:

One slide offered the withering perspective that cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin are not even an asset class in the first place, and that they offer neither cash flow nor a hedge against inflation.

"We believe that a security whose appreciation is primarily dependent on whether someone else is willing to pay a higher price for it is not a suitable investment for our clients," the slide concluded.

That wasn't the worst of it. A follow-up slide suggested the other most notable feature of cryptocurrency is as a "conduit for illegal activity," including Ponzi schemes and ransomware, while another invoked the Dutch tulip mania. Ouch.

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