YEAH, BUT IT'S SCIENCE!:

On Tuesday, Dan Baldassarre, an assistant professor at the State University of New York at Oswego, announced that his research paper answering "What's the Deal with Birds?" had been published in the Scientific Journal of Research & Reviews. It breaks down three different types of birds by their weirdness, though its actual purpose isn't really about birds at all.

Right off the bat, Baldassarre's article is a gem. "Birds are very strange," it declares, but "the relative weirdness of birds as opposed to other animals is yet untested." "I looked at three different birds: a woodpecker, a parrot, and a penguin," which were "animals that I knew for sure were birds, and no other things like bugs and bats," Baldassarre explains. The article continues in a similar vein, complete with a weirdness matrix diagram. 

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