EXCEPT THAT WE ARE ACTUALLY THANKING hIM:

And that leads us to: What is this Thanksgiving about?

Look, British people love to have layers upon layers of weird, boring, religious lore added to every holiday in the calendar. Nearly all of your holidays have some Christian significance, a million historical, dreadful oil paintings to honour it - not to mention a saint, which you guys seem to try to stick onto everything and anything you can. Thanksgiving is not like this: it is literally just a simple day where you are meant to reflect on what you appreciate in your life and spend time with people you are at least supposed to love. It has no religious element (at least, not technically), is celebrated by all Americans regardless of background, and doesn't really have a commercial element (other than bragging about how expensive your turkey was). It's genuinely a pretty nice holiday in theory, and is merely centred around gratitude, thankfulness, and eating. [...]

What do you eat?

From the delicious to the disgusting, a Thanksgiving meal features: turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, apple pie, blueberry pie, pecan pie (look, it's a lot of pies), roast potatoes, bread, brussel sprouts, butternut squash, acorn squash, anything with Velveeta cheese, salad, potato salad (it's a lot of potatoes), and the unholy sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping (please don't ask me to explain this, my family never ate it and it makes me feel ill too). To be fair, it's all pretty good aside from that.

Why do you guys eat pumpkin pie?

Jesus Christ, how is this so hard for this entire nation to wrap their heads around? Pumpkin pie is an incredibly smooth, silky sweet dessert that is insanely delicious despite being, as one colleague put it to me, a blended root vegetable. It's far better than raisins in pastry, or a brandy-soaked blazing cake, so why don't we all just keep our pudding judgements to ourselves this year, yeah?

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