WHAT IF YOUR LIFE'S AMBITION WAS TO BE WASHED?:

In April, Beyoncé headlined Coachella, in what turned out to be one of those grand cultural moments that come around less and less frequently these days. Late on a Friday night, and word starts to travel: Find a way to watch this. I did, and man--Beyoncé. What a world-historical feat: of athleticism, politics, power, charisma. It was perfection, almost. I say "almost" because partway through the performance she brought out her husband, Jay-Z. An idol of mine. One of the best live performers ever. But at Coachella he seemed...out of shape. Overmatched. He was doing guest verses, and his voice would begin to waver. The Internet had a field day. The verdict from those assembled online, watching him try to catch his breath, was swift and merciless: Jay-Z, at 48, was washed.

I myself am probably too washed to pinpoint the moment that "washed"--an existential description that has become ubiquitous in the past few years, as the American empire ebbs and exhaustion sets in--first entered the culture. It's not quite "washed up," with its connotations of lounge singers in Vegas reflecting on their glory days. It's more about that transitive moment: There you are in the train station of life, waving goodbye to your edge and your youth as they depart. You are Eli Manning, and you are no longer a plausible NFL starter in the eyes of some, but you are not yet ready to go to the bench. You haven't been to that particular new restaurant yet, but you've heard it's nice.

People tend to use the word "washed" as a pejorative, or as a mild, self-deprecating admission of defeat. But I'm not so sure. In fact, I'm beginning to suspect the word describes something far more ecstatic. Recently I turned 36, but I'd say I've been washed for some time now. Two years ago, I got married--itself a pretty washed thing to do--and my wife and I moved from New York City to Los Angeles. It's been a blur of home cooking and "getting into red wine," crossword puzzles and daily exercise, Tom Petty and the Beatles on the Sirius XM satellite radio ever since. Going to bed at 10 P.M. I've even started to play golf.

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