ALL COMEDY IS CONSERVATIVE (degenarecy alert)

Comey writes that Trump was focused on one particularly sordid detail from the dossier: an allegation that a blackmail tape exists of Trump asking prostitutes to pee on a bed in a room the Obamas stayed in at the Ritz-Carlton in Moscow. Per the Washington Post:

The president-elect quickly interrupted the FBI director. According to Comey's account in a new memoir, Trump "strongly denied the allegations, asking -- rhetorically, I assumed -- whether he seemed like a guy who needed the service of prostitutes. He then began discussing cases where women had accused him of sexual assault, a subject I had not raised. He mentioned a number of women, and seemed to have memorized their allegations."

The January 2017 conversation at Trump Tower in Manhattan "teetered toward disaster" -- until "I pulled the tool from my bag: 'We are not investigating you, sir.' That seemed to quiet him," Comey writes.

Comey said Trump followed up with him after the meeting in a phone call on January 11, saying the "pee tape" couldn't be real because he's a germaphobe. "There's no way I would let people pee on each other around me," Comey recounts Trump saying. "No way."

Trump complained the allegations were painful to his wife, Melania Trump, and that the logistics didn't make sense, according to the Post:

The president-elect argued that it could not be true because he had not stayed overnight in Moscow but had only used the hotel room to change his clothes. And after Trump explained that he would never allow people to urinate near him, Comey recalls laughing.

"I decided not to tell him that the activity alleged did not seem to require either an overnight stay or even being in proximity to the participants," Comey writes. "In fact, though I didn't know for sure, I imagined the presidential suite of the Ritz-Carlton in Moscow was large enough for a germaphobe to be at a safe distance from the activity."

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