CREDIBILITY IS FINITE:

 In only his second day on the job, Spicer was instructed to walk in front of the television cameras and lie -- not only that, he knew that everyone knew he was lying. After his boss became incensed at reports that his inauguration had a significantly smaller crowd than some others, particularly Barack Obama's in 2009, something had to be done. "Over the objections of his aides and advisers -- who urged him to focus on policy and the broader goals of his presidency," The Washington Post reported, "the new president issued a decree: He wanted a fiery public response, and he wanted it to come from his press secretary." So Spicer came before the White House press corps in his very first briefing, insisted that "this was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration -- period -- both in person and around the globe," berated the press for suggesting otherwise, and stormed off without taking any questions.

Most White House press secretaries take months or years to squander their credibility. Spicer did it in five minutes.

One way to look at that event is that it was a test. Spicer was not part of the Trump campaign, which means that he hadn't had the time to earn the new president's trust before becoming his mouthpiece. So right away, Trump made him prove his loyalty, through an act of abject humiliation. Once it was over, he was tied to Trump, and Trump's lies, for good.

But Trump's favor is fickle. He wasn't pleased with Spicer's performance; he didn't even like the grey pinstripe suit Spicer was wearing. When Kellyanne Conway (whom Trump had preferred for the press secretary job) defended Spicer by saying he was merely offering "alternative facts," it only led to a whole new round of mockery.

And then came the unkindest cut: a Saturday Night Live skit in which Spicer was played by Melissa McCarthy, shouting angrily, spouting absurdities, and pushing reporters around with her podium. Trump might have been sympathetic, having been parodied himself a time or two. But no:

More than being lampooned as a press secretary who makes up facts, it was Spicer's portrayal by a woman that was most problematic in the president's eyes, according to sources close to him. And the unflattering send-up by a female comedian was not considered helpful for Spicer's longevity in the grueling, high-profile job in which he has struggled to strike the right balance between representing an administration that considers the media the "opposition party," and developing a functional relationship with the press.

"Trump doesn't like his people to look weak," added a top Trump donor. [Politico]

So in addition to everything else, Sean Spicer is now the victim of President Trump's bottomless sexual insecurity. Can't the guy catch a break?

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