THIS INSTITUTION ISN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR TWO OF US:

It is only irrational animus, bigotry, and hatred that causes some to deny that human beings and fairground rides cannot marry. Love is love, and sometimes love extends to the soaring tracks, twisting hairpin curves, and thrilling loop-de-loops of roller coasters.

Yes. Two women have married, not each other, which would not be unusual these days, but each has married a roller coaster. Not the same roller coaster, of course; that would be absurd; different roller coasters.

One lady, a Miss Wolfe, 33, church organist, fell in love with the roller coaster in Knoebels Amusement Park, Pennsylvania. According to one report, "Although she faces discrimination from employers, most of her family and friends have been supportive. 'I'm not hurting anyone and I can't help it,' she said. 'It's a part of who I am.'"

Don't scoff. No one chooses to be an objectum-sexual; it is something which is forced upon one. What's that? What's an objectum-sexual? As defined by the second wedded lady, Linda, 56, who tied her knot to the backside of a roller coaster, an objectum-sexual is a person who "has romantic feelings for inanimate objects."

Psychology Today reports many are objectum-sexuals, folks who view their objects of love as "equal" partners. Who isn't for Equality? Reports are coming in from the across the globe of objectum-sexuals marrying smart phones, steam engines, video game characters, rocks, trees, dolls, electronic devices, radios, pillows, cars, and, yes, the Eiffel Tower.

Animus, bigotry, and hatred not only motivates people to deny the rights of objectum-sexuals, but also to disparage the needs and desires of self-sexuals. Self-sexuals are people who love best themselves, making it natural that the objects of their matrimonial instincts are, well, themselves.

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