HECK, I'LL LEAVE HIM MILK AND COOKIES IF HE'LL WHIP OURS:

Santa Claus may be a wonderful symbol of the holiday spirit, but time and consumer society have warped him to the point where he makes little sense. The idea behind Santa, originally, was to carrot-and-stick little boys and girls into good behavior--he's got a list, he's checking it twice, and if you fall under the 'naughty' category it's switches and coals for you. But what child in America is at all afraid of receiving a lump of coal under the tree? What child even knows what a 'switch' is? Thanks to a range of factors--Dr. Spock and Mattel are high on the list--Santa's beneficence is a fait accompli.

Alpine Europe, on the other hand, doesn't have this problem. This is because years ago St. Nick's job was split--while the jolly old elf delivered the goods, an evil, goat-horned spirit called the Krampus brought switches and bad dreams to the boys and girls of Austria, southern Germany, Switzerland, and far northern Italy.

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