THE SUREST SIGN THE OTHER ABRAHAMIC RELIGIONS ARE FALSE:

The McRib is back, and it’s McWonderful: Lucky for us, the McRib has turned out to be the Cher of sandwiches (ASHLEY RIGAZIO, October 27, 2010, Boston Phoenix)

For the cult of McRib, to which I belong, things are different. For us, McRibs are lusted after and devoured openly, with pride. We embrace our inner fatty-fatty-bo-batty and track the availability of the limited-time-only "barbeque pork" sandwich using an online McRib locator. It is that good.

Feeding the frenzy is the fact that the McRib has never enjoyed full-time status on the McDonald's menu. This makes us want it even more, and executives at the Golden Arches know this, teasing fans with back-to-back "Farewell Tours" in 2005 and 2006.

Luckily, the McRib has turned out to be the Cher of sandwiches. Earlier this month, McDonald's announced that, on November 2, the mythical pork-product sandwich will come out of retirement and return to the Golden Arches for a six-week run at 14,000 slop-food outlets.

Then a delicious rumor hit the Phoenix office — some Massachusetts locations had McRibs early. I dropped everything. Knowing that the McRib is often elusive, I headed to Saugus, where a McDonald's sign had changed its McRib status from COMING to HERE overnight. Oh, McJoy!