THESE CLOWNS CAN'T EVEN BEAT EUROPEANS:

Somali pirates mistakenly attack Dutch warship. Oops. (CS Monitor, 3/18/10)

On Wednesday, Somali pirates rolled out of bed, grabbed their AK-47s, hopped in a couple of skiffs and tried to take on the HNLMS Tromp, a Dutch warship.

“A rather silly mistake,” wryly observed Cmdr. John Harbour, the European Union navel spokesman.

When they got close enough to realize that their greed was dwarfed by their opponent, the pirates turned their skiffs around and fled. The Dutch shipped tracked them down, and boarded their mother ship, capturing 13 would-be pirates and weapons.